Mommy Word: MOTHER

This is the first of many Mommy Words to come.  I thought if I was going to call my blog Mommy Words then I better have some words to speak of.  I am using words in my header.  Yes, I am referring to the as yet non-existent header that is causing me actual pain.  I will finish it.  This month.  I almost promise.  So in this little game I will provide you with the actual definition of a word that pertains to or is related to or is often associated with mommies, their husbands or partners or their offspring.  I will then clarify the real life definition as it exists in our lives.  Sometimes they are close.  Oftentimes they are completely off.

I have started with the mother of all these words (see definition 5 below).  MOTHER.  Please excuse the profanity.  The dictionary said it this time – not me!

From Merriam-Webster Online

Main Entry: ¹moth·er
Pronunciation: 'm&-[th]&r
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English moder, from Old English mOdor; akin to Old High German muoter mother, Latin mater, Greek mEtEr, Sanskrit mAtr

1 a : a female parent b (1) : a woman in authority; specifically : the superior of a religious community of women (2) : an old or elderly woman
2 : SOURCE, ORIGIN <necessity is the mother of invention>
3 : maternal tenderness or affection
4 [short for motherfucker] sometimes vulgar : MOTHERFUCKER
5 : something that is an extreme or ultimate example of its kind especially in terms of scale <the mother of all construction projects>

I love this definition.  This is how I thought of myself when I dreamed of motherhood!  Obviously I am the female parent but check out what is next.  A woman in authority (ignore that it relates to a religious community).  Hell yes I am!  Or I am trying to be!  As far as source or origin I just like this.  Humans all come from their mothers and while Judeo-Christian beliefs obviously hold that God created man and woman…from there he gave the making of babies to us ladies.  And so we are the source.  This is beautiful.  It completely makes the hippie part of me all warm and fuzzy. And this only backs up our position of authority and power in my opinion.  (I added power in there.)  Finally, in terms of the parts that relate to us, I did envision much tenderness and affection.  I am okay with all of these things.

Number 4 is just funny.  First because it says sometimes vulgar.  I think that is always vulgar.  I would not think of Mother as short for MF because I tried saying this and Ross did not know what I was saying.  I suppose if I said it (and this is not one of my go-tos when I must use profanity) in a very aggravated way and then started the F but did not say it maybe my point would get across.

Number 5 works in conjunction with the whole idea of motherhood being this amazing thing that bestows upon us this awesome authority and power and yes, tenderness.  That is the only reason why it would indicate the ultimate example of something…because moms…we rock!

Now here is my issue.  Nowhere in this definition does it lay out that Mother actually means once you are a female parent you will automatically and immediately be the cook, the chauffeur, the house cleaner, the bill payer, the activities organizer ,  entertainer, administrative assistant to all members of the family and the sexy partner who can’t wait for her love to come home and kiss her.  You must do all of this while wiping poop and boogers off your younger offspring for a period of not less than 2 years of poop and many more of boogers.  You must not complain because you wanted to be a mom remember? For most moms this is whether or not you are an SAHM a WAHM or still are working out of the home.  Rather than being this tender loving mother or all mothers authority figure we are beck and call girls!

The definition of mother does not show how you have the toughest job in the world and while it skirts around your awesomeness with words like superior and ultimate, let me just say that in my book, being a mother is being a total ROCKSTAR!

Your kids will realize this one day too.  I LOVE YOU MOM!