Light at the End of My Tunnel

by Brittany on December 9, 2009

in Humour, Pregnancy

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Turn Baby Turn!

Turn Baby Turn!

It’s been awhile and I am sorry.  I also apologize for posting this terrible picture of me.  It is a huge improvement of the one taken while I was inverted over the chair you see.   I only am posting about this because I feel like I owe you a laugh after being absent for a week!  The inverted pic was too much though - I would have scared you all away or made your uteruses shriek.  I still might.  (p.s. I had to look it up – you can use uteri or uteruses as the plural for uterus.)

Yep, that is a flashlight in my underpants and yes, it is on.  I know from my OB that babies can now see light.  According to the Internet and many twitter friends, babies will move towards light.  So now you get it…I am shining light down towards my vajayjay so that the baby will move that way and un-breech her lovely self.  The flashlight is literally the light at the end of my tunnel. 

In case the light is not enough, my baby girl can now hear so I have also stuffed my iPod ear buds in my undies and at the moment in the picture I am playing a little Regina Spektor.  I have also tried classical.  She is supposed to say

Oh my, look at that wonderful soft light down there.  That looks so nice.  Oh wait – do I hear fabulous music?  Turn it up mom!  Hello?  Mom?  I’m looking for some volume and a little more light around here!

We have already spoken about how this baby does not move.  She may need some real motivation.  More than positive vibes from the light and music, I am trying to freeze the crap out of her little head by placing bags of frozen vegetables at the top of my huge pregnant belly.  Have you put an ice pack on a toddler?  I am hoping for a similar reaction from this fetus.  I want her to want to get the hell away from the cold.

Holy moly Mom!  What the hell are you putting up in my space?  My little tiny head is freezing up here!  What’s that you say?  It’s warm down where that light is?  I need to move my head towards the tunnel and the funky music?  Holy crap okay I am tucking my chin already!  Just move those damn peas!

And then she tucks her chin and does a graceful somersault, moving her head towards the vajayjay.   At this point we all hear glorious choral music and I take a bow and unfurl myself from the inverted position I am in.

I am currently trying to MacGyver the baby into a head down position and therefore have been away from posting.  You see, I have been inverted, or a little upside down, for most of my free time over the last week.  Pelvis up peeps!  It turns out you cannot go into an inverted position with small children without them jumping on you.  It only gets more exciting for them when you add a working flashlight and earphones and a bag of frozen playthings – the children aim for your privates.  I am only trying to get one head near my crotch these days – no more – no less.   Therefore my blogging time has been devoted to this new strange hobby.  I cannot blog while inverted.  I have missed you too.

I have to say – this better flippin’ work.   If I weren’t a freak before I am feelin’ like a total dingbat right about now.  But no one can ever say I did not try.

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{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Heather McD December 9, 2009 at 10:59 pm

I have heard of people doing the inverted thing to get a baby to turn. I am glad I never have had to try it. It doesn’t sound fun.

I found you on MBC and am now following you!
Heather
http://ratherbechangingdiapers.blogspot.com/
Heather McD´s last blog ..Win It Wednesday My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

Oh I so wish I did not have to do this Heather. I just do not want to have a C-section! Thanks for following! Hope you enjoy!

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2 Zandi
Twitter:
December 9, 2009 at 11:21 pm

OMG thats fantastic! Dedication! Just when I thought I’d seen it all. I heard something about a head stand and a candle between your toes… Just in case you get bored. LOL. Good Luck friend, this HAS to work!
Shine on!
Zandi´s last blog ..Anatomy of a SuperMom part 1. My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

Zandi my dear I do not have a waterproof camera. Those headstands are done in the pool and yes I will be dragging my whale like self into said pool this weekend. Not comfortable but I will try. I have not done the Mozi something candles but I am going to try the lamo version which is to clip clothespins to your little toes. I will be doing everything possibe.

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3 Liz @ Loving Mom December 9, 2009 at 11:30 pm

So when this little girl is in her teens and tells you “you never do anything for me!!” pull out this picture…at least that way when she looks at you like you have three heads you’ll know why ;) Good luck with your inversion…I can only imagine how fun your little ones must think you are right now!!

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Brittany Reply:

Thanks Liz! I am going to pull out post after post after post….even after they are brn we are always bending over backwards for them aren’t we?

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4 amie
Twitter:
December 9, 2009 at 11:57 pm

I totally did the flashlight and frozen pea thing too!!!!! And the inversion thing. I don’t know if it worked or if she just moved on her own but she was in position when she was good and ready to be born so I am hoping the best for you and your little one too!
amie´s last blog ..Potty Time My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

Gosh I hope it works. I am so glad yours turned. All of this will be worth it!

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5 shraddha December 10, 2009 at 12:19 am

omg…i was in that position from 25 weeks to 32 weeks……

its nuts..

have fun Hanukkah!!
shraddha´s last blog ..Exploring Culture My ComLuv Profile

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6 existentialwaitress December 10, 2009 at 12:41 am

Good luck with the inversion – Maybe this baby just has her own way of doing things and is taking her own sweet time! And I think you look great.
existentialwaitress´s last blog ..He knows a guy. My ComLuv Profile

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7 Michele December 10, 2009 at 1:36 am

Oh, I so hope this works for you…
The post was hysterical. I love the dialogue from little one.
I can’t stop laughing at the sight of you doing all these things.
What a dedicated mom you are!!!
Keep us posted ;)
Michele´s last blog ..These boots are made for walkin’ My ComLuv Profile

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8 magda December 10, 2009 at 3:51 am

ok, it is all too much.
*that you know and to are doing these things, that you are posting about them. *baby’s dialogued response to inversion stimulus.
*that we have the good fortune of your photo-ing and blogging about them.
*and that you use the word “underpants”
i am feeling as sympathetic as grateful and amused. and of course in total awe of you as you keep that smile about it all. you do make it sound and look quite fun, though. what else might you put down there?
magda´s last blog ..Sunday (sort of) My ComLuv Profile

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magda Reply:

sorry,
usual typo lameness
why don’t i see these before it publishes?
magda´s last blog ..Sunday (sort of) My ComLuv Profile

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9 snafflesmummy December 10, 2009 at 5:43 am

oh my god that is dedication. Couldnt help but laugh though, hope you dont have any unexpected visitors in your house at the minute!

Will cross my fingers that your efforts pay off.
snafflesmummy´s last blog ..Writing Workshop – Week 8 – My Hot & Steamy Addiction My ComLuv Profile

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10 Vodka Logic December 10, 2009 at 6:02 am

That is the funniest thing ever. Where were you when my 15 year old darling daughter was transvers breach. We [well the dr] had to cut her out.

Good luck.. and thanks for the laugh
Vodka Logic´s last blog ..25 Questions for Christmas My ComLuv Profile

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11 Michelle December 10, 2009 at 7:49 am

I hope this works Brittany! Definitely creative ;)

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12 Tiffany December 10, 2009 at 8:48 am

Wow! That is some serious dedication, but you most def want that baby to turn! I am LOVING that you are playing some Regina for her! Everyone knows that awesome babies love a little Regina en utero! Good luck! When do you go back to the doctor to see is she has turned?
Tiffany´s last blog ..My turn! Everything you always wanted to know about how we celebrate Christmas My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

I have another US and appointment on Tuesday I think. Some people say i will KNOW if she turns but she is so small I am not sure. The low amniotic fluid makes for little babies!

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13 Kristi December 10, 2009 at 8:58 am

Thats dedication! I would be doing the same thing if I were in your position. You crack me up though! Hope it works!!
Kristi´s last blog ..Sick and tired of cleaning My ComLuv Profile

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14 TooManyHats December 10, 2009 at 10:04 am

I truly hope all this works for you and baby girl turns around.
TooManyHats´s last blog ..A Christmas Meme My ComLuv Profile

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15 Naomi de la Torre December 10, 2009 at 10:12 am

This post and photo is hilarious. I only wish you weren’t really going through such horrific contortions and that it was all fun and games. I have several friends whose babies were breech and turned around at the last minute. I hope that happens to you too! Or sooner, of course!

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16 Theta Mom December 10, 2009 at 10:24 am

Pelvis up peeps, and the classical music…you crack me up!!! It feels like just yesterday you were posting about this pregnancy when you first learned about it, and now you are toward the end. Wow!!!
Theta Mom´s last blog ..Thanks Kid for Finding Me Some Theta Moms My ComLuv Profile

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17 Sharon December 10, 2009 at 11:13 am

You Go Girl!

If there was an award for this, I think you just won it!

Very fun…

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18 Candice
Twitter:
December 10, 2009 at 11:22 am

Wow, now this is dedication! Being a bit new to this and not knowing anyone who’s been in this situation, I’m amazed that all those things had effects. I had no idea the chill thing was even possible!

I did read that babies breathe in rhythm with music they hear in the womb… so maybe something slightly disruptive would cause some movement? But I hate to think about the effects of heavy metal on a developing child. LOL
Candice´s last blog ..The Force is shy, stubborn, emo or overly academic. My ComLuv Profile

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19 amber December 10, 2009 at 1:35 pm

No matter what happens, you get serious points for trying! The veggies on the tummy, though? Sounds really miserable for you. Good luck!
amber´s last blog ..The. Worst. Pain. In. The. World. My ComLuv Profile

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20 michelle December 10, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Glad to see you back and making us laugh!

I have to say…very interesting….veeerrryy interesting.
michelle´s last blog ..God Let Me See My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

Michelle I swear I did not make these tricks up. People swear by them!

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21 Melinda December 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Oh, the things we do for our children! And it only gets far more complicated once they leave the womb, doesn’t it?

As of yesterday, I am the mother of a teenager. Doesn’t get much more complicated than that! ;0)
Melinda´s last blog ..The Teenage Twilight Zone My ComLuv Profile

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22 Grateful Twin Mom
Twitter:
December 10, 2009 at 4:33 pm

So funny, Brittany. You crack me up. I love the levity with which you’re approaching flipping of your baby. “Your tunnel,” indeed. Good luck!!!
Grateful Twin Mom´s last blog .."This is more fun than TV!" My ComLuv Profile

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23 Elizabeth December 10, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Oh this is too funny! Luckily, my little girl was head down all the way, but there were STILL times when I was convinced she was transverse or breech or was going to give me back labor! I hope your little one proves to be a gymnast and does a flip for you :)

~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com
Elizabeth´s last blog ..Would You Like To Be "Crowned"? My ComLuv Profile

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24 Monique
Twitter:
December 10, 2009 at 4:54 pm

I canNOT believe you literally have a light at the end of your tunnel. Awesome.
Monique´s last blog ..Prepare to be dazzled…. My ComLuv Profile

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25 blueviolet December 10, 2009 at 11:09 pm

That is the most unique and interesting way to get a baby to turn and I’m really liking this! Plus, it made for an excellent blog post!
blueviolet´s last blog ..Stop Nickin’ My Name! My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

Like I said I am trying anything to avoid surgery and 5 days in hospital without my kiddos. No little ones allowed in with the flu this year. Thats for the compliment!

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26 Heather December 11, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Hilarious post! Just think if this works you can tell this child all that you went through just to bring them into the world…. Before labor. I hope it works soon for you.
Love your blog!
Heather

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27 UnknownMami December 11, 2009 at 3:57 pm

I am really impressed by your creativity, determination, and humor.

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28 Stacey December 11, 2009 at 6:11 pm

I am laughing so hard right now!! I hope that baby turns! At least you have a sense of humor about it all!
Stacey´s last blog ..Winter Coat My ComLuv Profile

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29 Zen Mom December 11, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Glad you’re documenting all of this, so you can bring it out when she’s older and let her know exactly how much you’ve done for her.

You are one dedicated momma. Keep up the good work!
Zen Mom´s last blog ..Pain, Pain Go Away My ComLuv Profile

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30 Loukia December 11, 2009 at 10:35 pm

First of all. That is a very beautiful picture of you!!! Second, please, baby, please! TURN FOR YOUR MAMA! You’re so cute, with all you’re doing to get your baby to change directions! But of course, I’d probably be doing the exact same thing, you know? GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Loukia´s last blog ..Ring-a-ling… soon it will be Christmas time! My ComLuv Profile

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31 Triplets Plus Two Momma December 12, 2009 at 11:00 am

This is so “pee your pants” hilarious.

I wonder if my man will go for un-doing my tubal to have another just so I can do my own experiments!

I should say he would probably buy me a one way ticket to Never Never Land!

I have no doubt I will re-read this post 112 more times today. Fabulous!
Triplets Plus Two Momma´s last blog ..Baby It’s Cold Outside My ComLuv Profile

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32 MommyB December 13, 2009 at 12:23 am

You totally crack me up and I love it!! Thanks for the image, I don’t think the post would have been the same without it. And PS I know you don’t want a c-section, they do stink and are harder to recover from, but it’s not the end of the world, hopefully you’d get taken care of even more and ps I was out of the hospital in a record 2 days. Sending baby moving vibes your way regardless :)
MommyB´s last blog ..Scholastic Storybook Classics DVD Review My ComLuv Profile

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33 C.C. December 13, 2009 at 9:28 am

It’s amazing what lengths we’ll go to for our little ones, isn’t it? You are an inspiration!!!
C.C.´s last blog ..Dec 9, Chalking: Creating beautiful effects with Versamark and chalks My ComLuv Profile

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34 Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com December 13, 2009 at 11:02 am

Oh boy!! It’s busy down there! :) When will you have an idea if all this is helping her to relocate herself?

I think you’re gonna have your hands full with this one!
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..A Study in Frustration Management My ComLuv Profile

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35 Holly December 14, 2009 at 12:15 pm

Funniest thing I have seen all year. Really. Thanks for the belly laugh.

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Brittany Reply:

You are just too damn sweet. THANK YOU! And you know this Regina Spektor thing is making the baby move. And moving at all at least means she could flip over!

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36 Christina December 14, 2009 at 3:37 pm

I was doing some of the same things just over a year ago with my daughter! I know how you feel!
Christina´s last blog ..Holly Bloggy Christmas Bash – Homemade Gifts My ComLuv Profile

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37 Megan December 14, 2009 at 9:33 pm

Absolutely hilarious post – good luck!

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38 Jenny December 17, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Oh my, you are funny. I’m here from the MBC and am following along now. I’m a childbirth educator…have you tried going on all fours and doing cat/cow stretches? You know, where you arch your back up and then flex it down? Try doing that for a few minutes a few times a day and then if you can do a modified downward dog (yoga) on your knees with your chest to the ground and your arms stretched out on the floor over your head. Do this 3 times a day for 10-15 minutes at a time. This will give the little one more room to turn and it’s better than being inverted ( how do you do that for very long?). Good luck!
Jenny´s last blog ..It’s finally done! My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

Oh yes I have been cat cowing it and everything else. She is still frank breech and I can feel her head right at my belly button. Current plan is to keep trying for her to turn on her own and then at 39 weeks to try an External Cephalic Version. I will have to get an epidural to have the best chance of success with an ECV, which is disappointing, but I figure since I will have to have a c-section if she does not turn that I would have the epi for that anyway! My fluid levels are so low now that post ECV if she turns they will induce and if she does not they will do a c-section. If she flips naturally and my levels do not go any lower they will let me go into labor naturally. Like you needed that book! Thanks so much for the advice and the follow. I am off to your blog!

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39 Crystal Martin December 19, 2009 at 1:33 pm

New to your blog and this post cracked me up! I was doing these same things back in June with our little breechling. My OB even told me to lay upside down on a slanted ironing board propped against the couch. Like I could have gotten my big preggo butt back up! lol. Day of delivery, he tried turning her but come to find out her cord was snaked around her, making her breech. The c-section wasn’t that bad. Recovery was a little hard but the actual section was a breeze! So if you end up needing one, don’t panic, they go quickly. Best of luck to ya. And yes… you’ll know when she turns! :0) Following from MBC. Merry Christmas!
Crystal Martin´s last blog ..POM Wonderful Pomegranate Juice Review My ComLuv Profile

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40 Sarah and the Gentlemen December 19, 2009 at 3:48 pm

You tell your story so well! I love the baby dialogue.
Sarah and the Gentlemen´s last blog ..Just a Few Questions Please My ComLuv Profile

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41 Blia December 30, 2009 at 11:30 pm

You are hilarious! I am so glad that I didn’t have to go through this with any of my five kids, but I am glad that you are able to still joke over the whole thing. Lots of luck!
Blia´s last blog ..Four A.M. Affections of a Two-Year-Old My ComLuv Profile

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Brittany Reply:

Thanks! 5 kids. Holy Moly you must be sosososo busy!

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