I have changed shape. Nothing fits me. Well, I should re-phrase. I can put my pants on and I can get them up and I can even zip and button most of them but something is not right. Yes, I have an 8 week old baby. That is what I have been telling myself. That is what you, my friends, have been telling me. Thank you, by the way, I would have locked myself in a closet by now without your lovely compliments.
HOWEVER - something has been bothering me. Violet is not my first baby. She is my third and I have done this all before. Everything was going according to plan. I am breastfeeding all the time and burning a bazillion calories a day over here. My cheekbones are starting to reveal themselves once again. My giant breasts are finally starting to chill the F out. I am losing the baby weight quickly as usual.
So what the hell is wrong with my pants??? Oh – I get it – my mom was right…as usual. There is no money growing on any of my trees and I now do not have a baby belly – I have a BAGEL BELLY. I am what I ate – and that was a hell of a lot of bagels. Starting in my first trimester. I posted about it here. No more mystery. My pants look like crap because how could they possibly look good wrapped around my bagel shaped belly? Really – it is like a little extra puffy and round – all the way around.
I know how it happened. I blog from the bagel store in the mornings and my bagel habit grew with my belly. I went from half a bagel with light cream cheese to a whole bagel with light cream cheese to a whole bagel with regular chock full of fat cream cheese. Then I decided I liked bagels so much I would have one for breakfast and one for lunch. You see, I did not eat a second lunch later – I just spent the mornings stuffing myself with bread and cheese and expecting to come out of it unscathed. What was I thinking???
I learned better. I now know a few key depressing facts.
I look like shit as a bagel.
People – your 30′s are different than your 20′s.
Drinking Diet Coke no longer makes up for all other calories.
I may actually have to pay attention to good carbs versus bad carbs.
Bad carbs are my favorite food in the whole world. My favorite drink is wine and I will never give it up. Especially if I have to give up bad carbs. I mean I need to cry in my wine – not a glass of water.
I can’t just starve so I am going to have to find something else to eat. Something healthier. Suggestions are welcome but let’s not get too healthy too fast. I am already in shock. So don’t throw tofu and raw food at me okay?
Finally, and I cringe as I write this, I am going to have to really exercise. To sweat. To do real cardiovascular stuff – not just running after my kids. Not just yoga. I am going to need to do aerobics or something. I may need a leotard and some leg warmers over here. My heart is already racing. I have a long way to go.
But I really want to be a hot mama so here is my goodbye to bagels. Oh – and I suppose just to be on the safe side I should also bid adieu to Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. I don’t know what that would look like but it can’t be good. I would rather look like Heidi Klum or something.
Wish me luck. This is going to suck.
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{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }
You’re not kidding when you say your 30s are different than your 20s. Ugh! But, I’m right there with you. I just started exercising again, but of course it didn’t help that I just had some ice cream. But, don’t worry, you can do it!
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Hope you have a fantastic Friday.
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I’m a new follower.
Come visit me as well!
I hear you on the something doesn’t feel right. I have the SAMEEE problem, but you have an 8 week old baby! That could be a great exuse as to why!! My youngest is 2…my excuse is, dieting sucks. LOL BUt yet I am on one…
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Great post…very entertaining, although I do commiserate. I’m only in my first year of my 30′s and I notice a big difference. Now if I eat anything after 8:00pm, I feel fatter the next day. I’m now following…Good luck!
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Great post! Have a Happr Friday Follow and a good weekend.
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I am now following you from Friday Follow! Hope you will follow me too!
haha! Stopping by from friday follow! Im a new follower and I love your blog!
Oh, here is a big (hug)! I remember that feeling. It will go away, promised. Just don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself a little time. And staying away from the ice cream tub won’t hurt either
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8 weeks and you are already to get back into your pants, even if they don’t look perfect, that is way good in my book. Okay, if you love bagels – find Thomas’s Bagel Thins and use Fat Free cream cheese on them. You don’t have to give them up, just take the lower calorie and lower fat version, oh and for only one meal
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Hi! lol thanks for that laugh. I love bagels and used to eat them alot until I found out that they were equal to like 4 pieces of bread! can you eat bread instead? or maybe cereal? A friend of mine is pregnant and takes spin, she loves it and says it does wonders. Good luck! Following you from FF!
Stopping by from “Friday Follow”.
Last week I stopped by over 100 blogs!
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
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I am your newest Friday Follower!!! What a wonderful blog and I will be back:) Please pop by and follow back:)
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Stopping by to say Hi and Happy Follow Friday! Now following you!
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Happy Friday Follow! Im following you now and I hope you’ll stop by and visit my blog.
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I don’t think they have or ever will make a replacement for bagel awesomeness, unfortunately – they are divine – but they are also pretty much the most fattening thing discovered by man. I think you might just consider ramping down the portion again and keeping it to early morning?
Um…..replace your starches with quinoa, as a starter. This made a huge difference for us when we did it.
Also, I’ve heard really good things about Gwyneth Paltrow’s trainer and she has a video for post pregnancy. I know, I know, I sound like a total Goop groupy (a Groopy?) but seriously, worth a try and you can do it at home, right? http://www.amazon.com/Anderson-Method-Presents-Pregnancy-Workout/dp/B001F2APHU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1269014738&sr=8-3
Two cents from someone who isn’t even a mother yet, but these are all things I am sticking in my arsenal for future reference.
You are a hard worker. You will be fine. Better than fine. Fine and unbagel-stomached and looking hot in those pants in no time. I have faith.
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Hi! Stopping by from Friday Follow. I’m your newest follower! I look forward to hearing more! I had my second 10 months ago and I look like I’m having another already! Or still!
Hi dropping in for the friday hop – my 3rd child is almost two and i’m still dealing with what you’re describing in your post. life after nursing is not the same as life while nursing … lol … today is my first day back on the weight watchers bus. have a wonderful weekend! toodles!
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You are so right i developed mid section chub in my thirties after i had my fourth child. now i have love handles and a chubby stomach. It’s very depressing and i just really cant get myself up to do cardio. so im have tried to limit my diet and so far its not working so i think ill have to do the cardio. ugh.
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Found you on Friday Follow. Have a great week-end!
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Following back from Friday Follow! I’m still fighting the baby weight good lord sometimes I think I’m just stuck like this forever! Maybe the summer will give me better results I’m always more active in the summer. Have a great weekend!
Oh I know ! I want a magic pill ! Following from Friday Follow http://www.bargainfun.net
LOL Wait till you get to your 40′s. I have 5 kids, and blame it all on them! tee hee
Hi there….I’m following with both of my blogs through FF….. wanted to stop in and say howdy!
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I’m your newest Follower from Friday Follows
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It’s an ongoing battle, and the twenties were SO much easier than these dam thirties! I hate it! BTW- I am your newest follower from FF. Hope to see you in my neck of the woods soon.
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March 20, 2010 at 8:00 pm
I miss my 20′s so much sometimes. But I’m betting I had a lot of angst back then too!
Happy Friday Follow. I’m in my mid 30s and have the same bagel belly going on, but my son is already 6 months old. Each week I have to ‘re-start’ my diet.
Hi there, I found you through Friday follow. I am your newest follower., Hope you will come by and follow me also!
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Happy Friday Follow! You’ve got a new follower!
Have a great day!
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i. despise. cardio.
have you heard of that new Zumba class? I haven’t been yet, but I hear its AMAZING. It’s at my local YMCA, so you don’t have to have a mega $ gym membership to do it!
And now I want a bagel.
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March 20, 2010 at 7:24 pm
I have wanted a bagel every moment since I posted this, I have the Zumba DVD’s so I could do it at home I guess. It is so hard to drag myself to the Y!
I love it! I am going to be blogging about the fun of weight gain and shape change this week too: the fun of being a mom and woman. ugh.
I am friday following you!
SB
not too serious i hope
Bye Bye Bagels! Hello bikini! Thanks for supporting Friday Follow. Have a wonderful weekend. Rita @ One 2 Try.
Twitter: mommywords
March 20, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Thanks Rita! I am not sure I will ever attempt a bikini again though!
Happy Friday Follow! I’m now following you every way I can.
Hope that you have a great weekend! I’m really enjoying your blog.
Kim
The Misplaced Midwesterner
Nice post! We are your new friday followers
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New Friday follower! Cute blog! Would love a follow back if you are able!
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Lindsey
Sorry, B. You’re not getting any sympathy from me. You have THREE (gorgeous) kids and still look like a supermodel! I’ve seen your pictures, you’re not fooling me! A) My one and only son is almost two YEARS old and I’m still two sizes bigger than when I started out, and B) When D was 8 weeks old I was still wearing maternity clothes. People were still getting up on the bus to give a seat.
Who cares about a few extra pounds when your starting point was “fabulous”? You’re already a hot mama, do you really want to give up bagels for a slight increment in hot-mamaness?? Health food and exercise are overrated. Long live BAGELS!! (and donuts and oreo cookies and…)
Hi, I’m your newest follower. I know where you’re at. I just had my 3rd, he is 10 weeks and I am also breastfeeding. I notice I am a little more jiggly than I used to be, and it is going to take a lot of cardio or whatever I can manage to endure to loose this extra baggage. Don’t give up we can do it together. We can encourage each other.
I found you on Friday Follow.
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March 21, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Yay definitely let’s encourage! Our babies are almost the exact same age! You should enter my giveaway for an awesome all weather blanket that is also a stroller cover, baby carrier cover and nursing cover! http://www.mommywords.com/2010/03/woobee-and-b-blanket-for-rain-or-shine-review-and-giveaway/
You are so right about 30′s being different than 20′s. The first time I lost the baby weight like nothing. Second time? Not so much. But if I recall correctly, I’ve seen photos of you and you look awesome. You have nothing to worry about!! Have a bagel and celebrate. You are hot.
Happy belated Friday Follow! I’m following you now…please stop by when you get a chance and follow me too! Have a great day!
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March 23, 2010 at 6:28 am
You are still closer to your goal than me – and my baby is 17 months!!!
I love your kids’ names!
Anyway, on a more related note, at least the cream cheese was tasty, right?
Hi there!
Don’t worry, if you start exercising a lot, you might not have to watch what you eat quite as much. It’s a good tradeoff for me. If I’m running 3 times a week, it seems like I can eat more bad stuff and get away with it and still lose the baby weight. I’ve got about…15 lbs to go and have just started running in earnest again. You can do it!
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March 25, 2010 at 7:32 pm
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March 25, 2010 at 7:35 pm
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I have an 8 week old baby as well! The pounds all came off but my hips are not what they were pre-baby. I ate better while I was pregnant than any time in my life. I had gestational diabetes and had to. My hips still don’t fit right in my pants. Don’t worry about it. They are only pants. Now you have a beautiful baby. Pants traded for a new life. Sounds like a fair deal
Happy Friday Follow! I am your newest follower and I hope you have a blessed weekend!
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