Crazy Happy

This is second of five posts over ten days as part of Momalom’s Five for Ten.  We are all writing about the same topics in an honest effort to get to know one another better and make more connections. Our first topic was Courage.  The second is Happiness.  If you are already a regular Mommy Words visitor, I hope you enjoy these posts.  If you are here as a part of the Five for Ten, welcome!  I can’t wait to get to know you.

After my post on my sister’s courageous decision to give her children up for adoption and all the tears I shed thinking about motherhood and family and grief, I was nervous about approaching this topic.  I wasn’t sure I had it in me.

Then I looked at my kids and they were laughing hysterically over touching each other’s belly buttons.  I started laughing too and showed my belly button.  They laughed even harder and so did I.  (These are the only people I will allow to laugh at my belly.)  I asked them if they were happy and Sophia said “I’m Crazy Mommy!” Miles just said “Ha-hee” (he drops all consonants) and continued to giggle.  They are, and I am, Crazy Happy.  Happy about everything…and nothing at all…except our funny bellies of course.

I remembered my childhood and I remembered my mother and most of all, I remember how she spent each and every day making us crazy happy about something while (now I know) she and my father struggled with their marriage, their bills, their 4 kids…you know…grown-up stuff.  Kids don’t have to and shouldn’t have to deal with all that crap so they can easily giggle for hours about any ol’ thing.  This is precious stuff.

This is the kind of happiness that becomes so hard to grasp as an adult.  I want to focus on the little things that make me smile, make me giggle, and yes, make me snort with glee.  I want to want to delight in the many blessings I have.  I have a hunk of a husband who loves me.  I have 3 ridiculously awesome children.  I have a wonderful (if slightly dysfunctional) family.  I have good friends.  I have love and laughter in my life every single day.

Still, I am a grownup with giant overwhelming STUFF in my life that tries to suppress my joy.  You are probably a similar grownup with these emotional, financial or physical demons.  Let’s let it go…just a little.

Let the happiness in.  Let go of all the tough stuff for a bit.  Focus on the things that give you pleasure, if only for a moment.  Focus on that CRAZY HAPPY we all found as children and let it back in.  It feels good to laugh hysterically and gasping for breath, realize that things aren’t so bad you can’t take a moment and be happy.

Here is my CRAZY HAPPY look, circa 1983, with my baby brother Graham.  Thanks Mom, for giving me so many years of hysterically wonderful moments.  I cherish them.  You are a rock star and you still make me happy every single day.

I’m gonna bring back this part of myself, even if it takes a glass of wine to do it.  I will, however, avoid pigtails now that I am a grownup.  I am not sure I can rock this look anymore.

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