I originally posted on this topic last summer.  I feel it is a subject that warrants a second look.

So far this year, 24 children died after being left in a hot car.  In 2009, 33 children were lost forever after being forgotten. They died from hyperthermia. I am sure there are hundreds of little ones who did not die, but could have.  I am sure there are thousands who have been left in the car for a moment.  This is not okay.  It does not take a long time for a car to heat up above 107 degrees.  And that temperature is lethal for humans.  More than 70% of these deaths were kids under 2 – many of whom were asleep and facing backwards as the AAP recommends.     They did not make any noise when the car was parked.   See this fact sheet for more information on hyperthermia deaths.

First, Some Background and Sensitivity Training…

The Washington Post called it “Fatal Distraction” in March 2009, when staff writer Gene Weingarten wrote about the difficulty in assessing the criminal nature of a child’s death by hyperthermia (or heatstroke) when the parent made a fatal mistake – he or she forgot their child or children in the car.  (Please see also the transcript of Gene’s live discussion after the huge response his article received.)   These are parents who deeply love their children.  They will be haunted for the rest of their lives by their mistake.  I am in tears again and I have read the article and many others so many times.  Gene admits that he had a moment in his past where his daughter made a noise in a parking lot and he remembered she was there.  He had forgotten.  He was overcome with nausea.  Thank God he did not get out of the car.  Thank God she made a noise.  He felt like he had to write this piece.  Sometimes it just takes the smallest thing to bring us back from our modern day distracted reality.

I hear this a lot:  “what kind of parent could do that?” I have read a number of articles over the last few years that made me realize it could be any of us.  Seriously.  Our brains are not perfect.  And the part of our brain that deals with memory and complex routines – the pre-frontal cortex – helps us to multitask and make finely tuned decisions but is also sensitive to stress and changes in a NORMAL routine.  Read the article for a much better description.  Basically, under stress the boobie part of your brain, the basal ganglia, takes over and you go on autopilot.  Unless something jogs your good brain – you could forget anything – even your child. I will not spend a long time on specific stories of heartbroken parents but I will post the list of people Gene interviewed  – the list of what kind of parent could do that.   It is terrifying and very sobering.  The following is taken from Gene’s article.

What kind of person forgets a baby?

The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist….

The facts in each case differ a little, but always there is the terrible moment when the parent realizes what he or she has done, often through a phone call from a spouse or caregiver. This is followed by a frantic sprint to the car. What awaits there is the worst thing in the world.

See?  They are not all drunk or on drugs.  They are not “those” parents who you would never associate with.  They are people, just like you and me, who never thought they would do that.  Let’s keep any “better than you claws” in and focus on how to avoid this situation.  Please.

How Can We Prevent These Tragedies?  a.k.a. How to Jog Your Good Brain and Help Others

10 Ideas…not all mine but all good.  And there can be NO overkill here.  Overlap is great!

1.  Set an Alert on your computer, phone or Blackberry: From my own vault of experience while working with a baby in daycare – I set an alert on my computer to go off every 15 minutes from about 7 a.m. (I got to work around 7.15 to 7.30) to 9 a.m.  That way no matter when I got to work there was a message on my screen that said…

Did you drop Sophia off at daycare?  Are you sure she is not in the car?

I put mine in Microsoft outlook.  I am sure there are lots of online programs that can do it too.  This really helped me.  While I never really thought I had left her – I did call the daycare once or twice to make sure while running to my car.  This frantic run may happen with this method – the note sometimes makes you second guess yourself.  However, coupled with the other suggestions I think it is still a good idea.

2.  Place a sticker on your car: Your windshield, your dashboard, your driver side window – wherever you think – that asks the same question.  Where is your child?  Or says Kids Should not be Left In Cars.  Or maybe Don’t Forget Me! This is also a good reminder to count your kids before you leave.  WAY too many kids get run over every year because parents thought they were in the car or in the house.  You can get some stickers and magnets for your car from Forget Me Not.  Or you could make your own.  You scrapbookers could make some dynamite stickers I am sure.  Maybe they have your kids names on them.  Maybe a phrase you know you will notice.  Just something.  As long as you see it and remember.

3.  Place a sticker on the door/entrance of your workplace and your home. They have security stickers.  They have credit card stickers.   They have hours and rules posted.  Whatever – your workplace should be happy to oblige you!  This way if you miss it on your car you will be reminded again when you get to the door.   On your house – this is a simple one.  Parents leave kids in the car at home.   They also accidentally leave their kids at home when they leave in the car.  Since I assume you lock and unlock your doors or at least use the handle to open or close it – this should be a reminder either way to actually think about where your kids are.

4.  Place a large stuffed animal in the car seat when it is unoccupied. When you put your child in, put the animal in the front seat.  This is a visual reminder, says Jannette Fennell of Kids and Cars.  Then when you leave make it a habit to get your child out and replace the animal in the back.

5.  Put things you need for your activity in the back seat. Be it work, errands or other daily activities you have things you always take with you that you would usually have or need when you got to where you were going.   If you were supposed to drop your child off you would notice when you went to grab your purse in the back seat and saw your sleeping child.  And, unlike your child, who you would have thought you dropped off, you will miss your purse as soon as you go for your cup of coffee, to make a purchase, to put away your phone.  If you get in the habit you will always be checking your back seat for your valuables.

6.  Leave the Diaper Bag / Kid Supplies in the Front Seat.  This is similar to the above, but is another idea to really make sure everything is in the wrong place so that you WILL know if your child is in the car and you WILL NOT forget them if you go to pick up your purse and see a diaper bag and then reach in the back and see your child.

7.  Regularly Communicate with your Childcare Provider. This is a great idea anyway.  Keep your childcare provider, be it a nanny or a daycare or a home facility, aware of your plans.   Let them know what time you will be dropping off and ask them to contact you if they do not see your child at that time.  If you are good at communicating with them, they should do the same for you.  When you are looking for childcare, make sure this is something they will do.  I made sure that besides the sign in sheet at our daycare, they used an attendance chart in the classrooms and they did, in fact, ask when a child was not there.

8.  Get an alarm for your car seat. I have been thinking this for awhile but of course, like my other inventions, they already have one like it.  I will tell you about both.  What I actually think is that much like the seat belt beeper that goes off if someone is in a seat with no seat belt the auto manufacturers should put the same kind of device on each back seat station.  You should be able to “alarm” it when you install the car seat.  When you open your car door the car will say to you, “Don’t forget you have passengers in the back seat.”  I would be fine if it said, in a screaming voice – “Hey Lady – Baby on Board.  Get her out!”.  Just something to make sure I was with it.  Honda, Toyota, Dodge are you listening????  Volvo – come on you are all for safety!!!

Since this is not yet available on any cars that I know of you can use something like the Baby Alert Child Minder System. This retails for $69.95.  It is a pad that goes in the seat and an alarm that goes on your key chain.  If you walk more than 15 feet from the car while the child is in the seat.  The alarm will sound.  This will also make sure you do not run into gas stations or grocery stores, even in the winter, because whether it’s hot or not your child should not be alone in the car.  Many states have a ZERO seconds law that means no child may be left in car for any number of seconds.  Good stuff.   You could also use the Cars-N-Kids Car Seat Monitor.  This monitor also senses the weight of the child, but it plays a lullaby whenever the car stops, reminding you that you have a baby in the car.  This retails for $29.95.  Personally I like the alarm better but either tackle the main objective – remember your baby is in the car!

9.  Spread the Word.  The more people who know how this can happen and how fast it can happen and that it could, in reality, happen to them, the more people will take some of these simple steps to make sure it does not happen.  Maybe your local moms group could make stickers. Maybe you could hand some out at temple or church.  Maybe you could include them in the goodie bags for a party with a little note.  This is not rude.  This is not spoiling someone’s good time.  It is possibly saving a life – many lives in reality – from being destroyed.  Be open to talking about the hard times all parents have juggling their kids with their lives and their jobs, especially new parents who are adjusting to the changes and the lack of sleep and the car seats and the drop offs and all of the things that come at you the minute that baby comes out.   The more open we are, the more people will know, and the more they will think before they lock their car and walk away from their beautiful child.

10.  Look Around.  Peek in Parked Cars. You are not some Peeping Tom.  You are just casually walking by and glancing in back seats.  I have seen kids in cars outside a grocery store before.  Not a gas station (not that it matters) but a big grocery store.  It can take 20 minutes to “run in and out” of a huge store.  The mother walked out to her car as I was approaching a security guard to let him know.  It was near 90 degrees outside.  Had the doors not been locked I swear I would have opened them.  We have a zero second law here so I would have been fine doing that, or calling 911 or probably breaking a window.  People DO leave their kids.  They do not always remember, or they think they will be right back, or they don’t know how dangerous it really is.  If you notice a child and get that car open you may well save his or her life.  That is worth a few weird glances your way.  As a note, look in particular (or find a security guard to look) if you see or hear a car alarm going off but no one is around it.  Some cars have motion detectors that will go off when they sense movement within and were locked using the key fob.

Don’t they say it takes 28 days to form a habit?  Some things may seem silly or too simple but they are meant to insert a new basics routine in that dumb part of your brain that you will do even when you are the most tired the most stressed or the most out of your normal routine.  They are meant to train you to remember your child, and harsh as that sounds, it is a good reminder for all of us.

I hope that you find some of these suggestions useful for you or someone you know with small children.  Please remember to treat your vehicle as a dangerous object and not let children of any age near it to play or explore.  Older kids get locked in cars accidentally themselves.  Kids from toddlers on up can start cars and accidentally drive them.  And babies can be forgotten.

Please help SPREAD THE WORD on this topic.  You can use the share buttons below to send it by email or post it to your Facebook or other networking site.  You can Tweet it from the top of the post or from below.

If you have any other suggestions I will update this post with them and spread your words as well.

Thank you for listening, thank you for sharing, thank you for loving your children and for keeping them safe.

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Our kids’ bathtub is now officially full as sweet Baby V joined Sophia and Miles for her first big girl bath.  I would say it was a huge success.  Usually she creams for every minute of being in the water in that baby tub.  Lately I felt so bad I have just had Ross hand her to me in the shower.  This is actually very easy and a great time saver!  However, she was ready for the bath seat and the kids have been begging to get her in on the bath time fun so I acquiesced.   As you can see, while there were no tears – she looks a little nervous and unsure of this new adventure.  I repeat – NO TEARS – this is an improvement!  I call this success and can’t believe all my kids are now close to being able to play together!  Time is flying by!    First a bath – then Kindergarten – then college.  Cue Tears.

"Look Mom, No Tears!"

Violet is certainly not starving herself these days and is one chubby and happy little camper as soon as baths are over.  Just so you can see that I did not traumatize my baby, note her smiling.

"Can You Even Get the Towel Around My Belly?"

Stay tuned for her next exciting milestone.  I believe she is almost ready to sit up on her own.  Crazy, I know.  You just can’t wait! I love that being a mommy blogger I am actually cool with posting this stuff and thinking people might read it.  Everybody loves chubby babies right?

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The number of hours I have been away from Violet since she was born.

     The number of hours I have spent with Violet since she was born.

Need I say more?  This is literally a full time job.  And I have 2 other kids. At the current $7.25 minimum wage this would be worth $16,530.  Annually I would be paid $49, 590 per year.  However, this is no minimum wage job.  It takes skill to multi task like a mom.  Chef, Chauffeur, Teacher, Caretaker, Amateur Nurse, Entertainer, Event Planner, Stylist and giver of tons of hugs and kisses.  If I worked like this for any actual company I would be making some serious dough.   Sadly, I make no actual money for this high ranking position. 

It’s a good thing I’m happy being paid in tiny laughs, cuddles, coos and smiles.

Give me your math!  Misery Overwhelming joy loves company!

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This is fourth of five posts over ten days as part of Momalom’s Five for Ten.  We are all writing about the same topics in an honest effort to get to know one another better and make more connections.

Our first topic was Courage.   The second was Happiness.  The third was memory.  Today’s is Lust.

If you are already a regular Mommy Words visitor, I hope you enjoy these posts.  If you are here as a part of the Five for Ten, welcome!  I can’t wait to get to know you.

In the middle of the night I lay sleeping, dreaming of two bodies embracing, loving, and enjoying one another in perfect intimacy and with total abandon.  My eyelids flutter and I see my husband laying next to me and feel his leg draped over my own.  We always fit.  It always moves me.  I shift my body towards his and hear a soft moan.  My reaction is immediate.  My body warms in an instant and my breasts begin to tingle.   I let out a deep breath, a low groan, and unbutton my nightgown to free them for the soft hands that already are reaching out in hunger that only I can satisfy.

I roll over, scoop up my precious baby Violet, and begin to nurse.  My wild fantasies of passionate unplanned sex are smooshed by an irresistible 12 pound little girl.

Yes, things around here are a little lackluster.

When I feel a little frisky and hubs touches the tatas…they LEAK!  Horny mam or hungry baby…same reaction…breast milk let down.  (Truly a let down if you are feeling rowdy.)  These boobies also make a crinkly sound as all breast pads do when you caress them.   Not so hot huh?

I scream Yes! Yes! Yes! while Sophia does gymnastics instead of in the bedroom.

Can one without a strange fetish lust after someone who smells like baby puke and even sometimes has the scent of poop lingering?  With 2 kids still in diapers this is a common occurrence.

The last time I got  a wax was while preparing for labor.  Mama’s not feeling sexy.  Enough said.

After a hot date and a lot of wine (always lust inducing) I have to pump.  Milking oneself like a cow always kills that sexy feeling.

I sleep 1 foot from my infant and often wake up with my two year old in my bed.  Let’s just say I don’t wear lingerie to bed.

I think it might help to have a fraternity party where we could grind away in a basement like we did when LUST took over every night.  We could then forget that we are parents to 3 kids 3 and under but that’s kind of weird to have a mom of 3 in a beer drenched basement doing that so this scenario is probably out.  And more things would shake than just my tush.  And I don’t know any frat guys anymore anyway.

Now I am a little depressed about the lackluster state of things around here so I am just going to get out my pencil (no pen – you never know with kids!) and schedule me some lovin’.  You can’t always get what you want…you get what you need!

P.S. sometimes what I need is just sleep. 

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This is third of five posts over ten days as part of Momalom’s Five for Ten.  We are all writing about the same topics in an honest effort to get to know one another better and make more connections.

Our first topic was Courage.   The second was Happiness.  Today’s is Memory.

If you are already a regular Mommy Words visitor, I hope you enjoy these posts.  If you are here as a part of the Five for Ten, welcome!  I can’t wait to get to know you.

Many people laugh when they hear all the places we take our very young kids.  Some say “Why go through the hassle?  They won’t remember”.  Some people’s mouths drop open.  There are even crazies who imply we “force” them to do things they aren’t old enough for.  I say…as my mom said before me…”PSHAW!”

My kids are 3, 2 and 15 weeks. I readily admit, I do not remember the days before about my 4th birthday, but I am sure glad my mom did not  think it was a waste to take me to the zoo or a museum for the first 4 years of my life just because my little brain might not forever remember blowing out my first birthday candles or petting my first goat or walking into my first day of pre-school.  Likewise, I’m sure glad she decided to have me at all, seeing as I don’t remember my birth and all.  I think I probably liked being born and all that birthday cake and goat petting and stuff.

We drag take our tots as many places as possible because I believe that even if they don’t remember, these experinces help their precious minds to grow.  Going lots of places also  aids in social development and has helped me to teach important lessons about acceptance, patience and even money!  As an extra benefit, the more active we are, the less bored I am and the more likely it is they will nap.  I am not the only one who thinks that really cool experiences plus a really great nap makes for great days. Right?

Yes, it is often tiring and takes a lot of planning.  Yes, sometimes we have massive meltdowns and contemplate never leaving the house again.  Yes, these trips are primarily for the kids and usually lack the sort of relaxation and fruity cocktails that are nice on a vacation day.  But I have no regrets.  I just have thousands of wonderful memories.

I capture all of our experiences with my camera or Flip Video and we spend lots of time picking out our favorites, making albums and sending them to family and friends.  We re-live all of our experiences by talking about each trip for days on end.  Many therapists think this kind of repetition, where children learn the words to associate with their experiences, will actually help them remember.

I have to honest here.  While they may not remember, I WILL.  If I am wrong and my kids do not get any social, intellectual or physical benefits from all of our activities over the past 3 years, I am creating memories that will last for my whole life.  These experiences with my kids are precious to me as I see them open their eyes and hearts to the world around them and watch the huge smiles spread across their little faces.

In the spirit of getting to know me, here are some of my favorite memories with my kids out and about the country.

We alwasys go to the zoo.  Actually, I think we go to every zoo and aquarium whenever we are within 90 minutes of one.  Asheboro, Columbia, Charleston,  Baltimore, New Orleans, San Antonio, Orlando…where there are animals you will find us!  We have done this since Sophia started pointing to animals.  The kids love animals and have a fabulous time.  I have a ball watching them have a ball.  It makes us all happy!   How could I miss this excitement on Sophia’s face at 1?

A 1 year old thinks it is pretty awesome and very silly when a gorilla picks his nose and eats it.  So do I.  You should never get so old that this does not make you giggle.  And your kids are almost never too young to find this funny.

At the Reston Zoo in Virginia, Miles got licked by this camel when he tried to kiss it.  Unforgettable and yes, he stil tries to kiss animals.  Sheep, cows, horses…he has smooched ‘em all.

We usually go to Charleston, S.C. for New Years and find so much to do with the family.  When Sophia was 2 and Miles was 8 months old we went to Patriots Point, home of the U.S.S. Yorktown aircraft carrier and TONS of airplanes.   We explored the ship and then ran around the flight deck on a cold winter morning.  It was wonderful!

I loved taking the kids to the Angel Oaktree believed to be more than 1500 years old.  It is enormous at 25 feet in circumference and providing 17,000 square feet of shade.  It is also breathtakingly beautiful.

We rocked Washington D.C. while visiting my mom last year and hit the best parts for little kids in most of the National museums.   The National Building Museum was the kids’ favorite.  Why?  You can actually build things and run around in this giant open hall!

The Smithsonian and the Natural History Museum were not far behind.  We all had a BLAST at the National Air and Space Museum.  Little kids are pretty impressed by big airplanes and oh yeah..space ships.  We learned how to dye wool at Mount Vernon and watched a sheep being shorn.  She may not really remember it, but I will remind her how cool she thought the Washington Monument is…even at 3…she could see that Obelisks pretty much rock.

Our best and most recent trip was to Disney World.  After4 days, 3 parks and thousands of pictures I would say we made memories that will last a lifetime.

So now you know.  My tagline really could be Have Kids…Will Travel. 

I think we can make wonderful memories with our kids in much simpler ways too.  We are blessed to have family in so many wonderful places and be able to travel with our kids to add these very special experiences to thir early years.

I would love to hear where you have made your favorite family memories and would LOVE to hear what your child’s earliest memory is.  I mean come on – is there any chance they will remember any of this?

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Baby Violet is 2 months old! She joined us in January as a tiny little girl, weighing 5 pounds 12 ounces. Well, in just 2 months she has gained 5 pounds and is busy winning the hearts of all with her pudgy little cheeks and her totally kissable mouth and well…everything. After 2 months she is still a mama’s girl. She smiles for me, she gives me her special looks and I could swear some days we both roll our eyes at the rest of our house.  They are just so….loud!  I will say she thinks they are funny sometimes though, and I think she tries to lick Miles when he comes around – probably because he is always covered with whatever he last ate!

Violet is my most quiet baby so far.  The only issue is she is only quiet for me.  So far she calms down as soon as I pick her up. This neat little trick does not work for those without my boobs.  We are still working on the bottle thing.  I think she might be like my others and make babysitters run for their lives. 

We nurse about every 90 minutes to 2 hours all day and then take a little break for mommy to have dinner.  Then we nurse after dinner and take a break to read books and sing songs and take baths as a family.  Violet gets hugs and kisses goodnight from Sophia and Miles at 8 p.m. and then east and takes a nap until around midnight.  She eats again and then sleeps for 5-6 hours.  Then we start over.  It’s a lot, and the constant nursing has made it tough for me to juggle everything else, but I love every minute of this baby girl.  Ross says she is my last baby (this makes me SO sad) so I am trying to not miss a moment!

Violet – Mommy Loves You!

My Sweet Violet,

It was 6 weeks ago that you were born and I have taken 2 weeks to make a simple slide show of your first month with us because I am so in love. So in love with you that I cried choosing each picture. So in love with our time together that I could not write captions – I had too much and too little to say…so I cried again.  So in love with our family that I cried over all of our memories from the day your dad and I met until right now.  I am now sitting here with you sleeping peacefully at my breast, again in tears, reflecting on all the love we have for you and wondering how the days pass by so quickly. 

Here is your first month.  I will remember these days forever.  You are an amazing little girl, my darling, and Mommy loves you very much. 

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I was so excited to receive this Fisher Price Newborn Rock ‘n Play Sleeper in the mail for my review.  I am a huge fan of Fisher Price products and have always gone to them for my newborn gear including my swings, bouncers and toys!  The quality is superb and they seem to last through many children.  Violet is my 3rd baby in just over 3 years and while all of our gear is still in great condition I was excited to get something new!

My new baby Violet loves her new rocker!

Happy Baby

I am adding this rocker to things you should have when you come home with baby.  You can see my post of things I used in baby’s first 2 weeks here.  I am not a full co-sleeper or a full attachment parent, but I like to have my babies near me every moment.  I think it provides the littlest people with a sense of security and trust when they open their eyes and see a caretaker.  This little sleeper works perfectly for my schedule and parenting style as it is higher up than most bouncers and lets her sit right by me when she is relaxing or taking a little cat nap and gives me a little babywearing break.  I can easily rock it with my leg and it also slides easily across the floor when you tip it up so you can move baby from room to room without lifting the piece off the floor or waking baby.

While we do not use this sleeper at night, it meets industry standards for a bassinet and can be used for baby to sleep in at night in lieu of a co-sleeper or bassinet.  It elevates baby’s head which gives baby a better view and makes sleeping babies more comfortable.  Many babies sleep better with thier heads elevated.  This position can help both with breathing and with stomach issues such as reflux.

Where We Use the Rocker

The rocker’s height is great for being next to me while typing or eating lunch, but it is not really high enough to go near my bed.  Violet would be much lower than my mattress height, so I prefer the co-sleeper as I can make it level with my bed.  However,  I think this is a great option if your bed is lower, you are not co-sleeping or you need the elevation.   Still, we use this everywhere but by the bed!

Newborn Rock 'n Play Sleeper

As a travel bed for little ones, this rocker was awesome and can hold babies up to 25 pounds!  It weighs almost nothing and folds up to almost nothing in a flash!  We took it to Charleston for an overnight and it easily slipped in the back of the car next to our suitcase and easily fit in between the bed and the wall in the room.  It took about 5 seconds to fold it up versus 5 minutes (or more if you hit a snag) with a pack ‘n play.  In your home it could just as easily slip under a bed or in a closet for storage.  This is a huge plus! 

Fits in Tight Spaces

We also take this to restaurants and love having Violet out of her car seat and in her own place next to us.  You can easily carry it with one hand and it is so convenient and so much safer and more comfortable for babies.  It fits easily next to the table and lets mom enjoy her meal!

Basically we use this rocker all over in the house and out of the house because it works so well for our little one.  I would say we use this more than the swing or the bouncer because it puts baby Violet so close to us and provides such a calming and safe place for her.

Great Things About the Rocker 

The rocker took all of 5 minutes to put together.  This includes taking the tape of the shipping box.  It was that simple.  There were no screws or strange small parts to figure out. 

Miracle of all baby gear miracles, the cover easily attaches to the frame and stays attached and just as easily comes off for washing.  Finally! 

The rocker is lightweight, compact and extremely easy to move around or store.  You can (and we do) take it anywhere!

This sleeper is a jack of all trades.  Baby can sleeep, baby can relax, baby can play! 

There is a cute little toy bunny and a pocket on the outside for baby stuff.  I keep a burp cloth, some wipes and a paci in there with the bunny!

The high sides are fabulous for newborns.  I have a Fisher Price bouncer upstairs that we have had for 5 years and used for all of our kids and passed around to other babies and everyone loves it.  They no longer make it and I was really trying to find one for downstairs.  It too has wonderful high sides for extra support and a feeling of safety for babies.  They just came out of the womb and many babies prefer to be in tighter spaces.  This is why we swaddle them!  In the picture below you can see violet in the standard style of bouncer these days and you can see that she is falling a little to the side.  You can also see how the product comes and the size versus the bouncer.  We weren’t using the bouncer much because she seemed uncomfortable at her young age.

Bouncer Lacks Support

In the rocker she does not fall to the side at all and while she has freedom to move, her neck and torso are fully supported.

Violet Chillin' Out in Rocker

The design is simple and does not require batteries.  I will admit sometimes I miss the good old vibration feature but after much thought and observation of my 3 and 1 year olds I have decided it is wonderful to have something that does not fascinate them.  Sophia and Miles can help to gently rock her, but there is no music or toys on it to make them go crazy!  You can see Miles “helping” violet above.

Things I Would Like to See

The legs attach to the rocking frame with the standard pins and I would love if the height was adjustable.  Just a couple of inches would provide a lot of versatility for moms who wanted to sleep next to their babies.  An extra couple of inches would make a big difference.

The color and design is gender neutral and very cute, but I always like when a product is available in a “natural” color.  Creams and beiges and browns are also gender neutral but feel more modern and more easily blend in with home decor.

I would love a toy bar that could attach to the sides when Violet gets a little older.  This would give her a little entertainment while not leaving her on the floor when my kids and dog are running around!

Overall Opinion

I love this rocker from Fisher Price.  It was exactly what I was looking for to keep Violet near but give me some hands free time.  I have used in more places and situations already than any other piece of baby gear, and that is saying a lot.

You can purchase the Newborn Newborn Rock ’n Play Sleeper for approximately $50 from many baby stores and online retailers. 

I would highly recommend this product.  The Fisher Price Rock ‘n Play Sleeper gets a big Mommy Words Woo Hoo!

Disclaimer:  Thank you to Fisher Price and MomSelect for providing me with this product free of charge in exchange for my honest review.  The opinions expressed are 100% my own.

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I believe that I now have a smiling baby!  I have documented the first smile that I do not believe to be caused by gas or poop or my hugley fantastic boobs, though all 3 are understandable reasons to grin!

I now give you my own little Violet and her first real smile!

She's a Knockout!

And now, I am back to my sweetheart, who is currently not smiling but wailing her little heart out!

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I would have loved a list of what someone actually used when I had a baby. I also would have saved a LOT of money. Babies need a lot of stuff – but mommies buy a lot more. So here it is – everything I have actually used in the first 2 weeks since coming home from the hospital with Violet. I will be creating a PDF of this as a simple list too as soon as I figure out how.     

I am excited to announce that a few of these products from some of my favorite companies are providing giveaways for Mommy Words readers!  These will be my first reviews and giveaways so keep visiting for your chance to win!     

Big Ticket Items for Baby     

All of these items (carseat is the exception) I bought or recieved before I had Sophia and have lent out to friends with newborns, so they are now being used with the 3rd, 4th or 5th child and are still in great condition and working well.  The cost per use is so small!  Note that you do not need doubles of everything – we have just been gifted items or found it easier to have one on each floor.   These are items that should be okay to purchase from a second hand store or craigslist as long as you really check them out first.  They are meant to last for more than 1 baby and you can save TONS of money this way.     

I will detail what I actually have because I am a huge fan of some of these products but in quick and dirty terms you need -     

1.  Place to sleep (Crib, Bassinet, Co-Sleeper or Sleeper Area for your bed)     

2.  Safe seat for the car (if you have a car) (Car Seat)      

You might also need / like      

3.  A stroller  Many moms do not really go out in the first couple of weeks but since you will need it anyway, better to have it on hand!     

4.  Bouncer, Swing or Rocker     

5.  A car seat snap on stroller      

Here’s What I Actually Have:      

Graco SnugRide Infant Car Seat with additional base:  New car seat technologies convinced me to purchase a new car seat when I had Miles but the old one still worked and looked great.  It was the older Graco model.  The Graco seats, for a lesser price than others, got the highest safety reviews from Consumer Reports.  They were also a lot easier to figure out than some higher priced brands.  I am very happy with my Graco products for the newborn set.      

Graco SnugRide Milan

Graco Snug Rider Infant Car Seat Stroller Frame:  This just makes life a little easier for quick errands.  Run into the bagel store.  Have to return something.  In my house it is NOT used as a replacement for a stroller for a long walk or trip to the mall.  Babies should not be in their car seats for any longer than necessary.  It is hot in there and they are really strapped in tight!  It is also not good for their head shape and development.  As you may know, Miles was born with severe Plagiocephaly and needed a Doc Band.  Through this process we learned many things, including to keep babies out of car seats as much as possible.  Still, we do use this quite a bit as I have many tiny errands.  We simply do not use it when the stroller seems more comfortable and appropriate.     

Mini Arms Reach Co-Sleeper:  We chose with all of our babies to have them sleep in our room, next to me, rather than in a crib in another room or in our bed.  To be honest, the more kids we have had the closer we come to full co-sleeping but we will never be fully there.  I need a place to put the baby so I don’t have fear of crushing her!  I also sleep better with a little more space in my bed.  This co-sleeper is open on one side so I can simply reach in and pluck the baby out for feedings.  It is SO convenient!      

Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper

Bumbleride Rocket Single Stroller: I LOVE this stroller and while this model is no longer made, the company has made improvements and a similar but better model is called the Indie.  Bumbleride has a double version of this stroller too and I would just LOVE to try out either of these beauties.  I love that the recline allows newborns to ride in the stroller, I love all the accessories (they even have a little carrycot bassinet if that floats your boat), I am a huge fan of how easy my stroller is to turn and I absolutely love the style and colors on these babies!  Check out all the options and models at the Bumbleride site!     

Miles in Bumbleride at 2 Weeks

 I should also note that when I had my second baby I chose to go with the Mountain Buggy Urban Double and was totally impressed! The steering is SO easy, it also has an incline that is great for babies and it came in purple.  I was in love.   I will be posting some stroller reviews and tips for choosing a stroller so stay tuned!     

Fisher Price Papasan Cradle Swing:  Everyone LOVES this swing.  From the first day home through the first months this swing relaxes baby and gives mom a few minutes of me time!     

Sophia at 4 Weeks in Fisher Price Swing

Fisher Price Newborn to Toddler Rocker:  I love that this rocker has higher sides for a newborn and the vibration that many bouncers have.  It is great for the smallest babies and yes, my 1 and 3 year old love to use it as a rocker too!     

Miles at 2 Weeks in Fisher Price Rocker

 Fisher Price Bouncer:  The bouncer is the standard Fisher Price $35 ish model with the lights and music bar above.  It is starting to have some problems with the vibration so we may replace it but it works just fine for a baby – other than the fact that I prefer higher sides.     

Violet at 9 Days Fisher Price Bouncer

Feeding Items  

I breastfeed my babies, so this list is what I have actually used.  If you plan on formula feeding you will probably need more bottles and more burp cloths as well as a bottle sanitizer for all those bottle parts!  I have actually used my nursing cover and stool when feeding a bottle to my kids because the cover helped them to be calmer during feeding time and the stool made it more comfortable for me to sit.  A nursing pillow of some kind may also be helpful for bottle fed babies because it does provide some support and give your arms a rest!         

Breast Pump- to stimulate milk production or in my case – to empty breasts.  For me this is a big ticket item because I need the double electric pump.  I use the Medela Pump in Style for my daily pump out sessions and used it many times a day when I went back to investment banking after having Sophia.  It is still working great on baby number 3 although it does look a little worse for the wear!        

Nursing Cover- I have loved my Bebe Au Lait nursing cover since my first day home with Sophia.   They are beautiful and practical and allow you to nurse anywhere with ease and still see your baby!  The Bebe Au Lait company was kind enough to send me a new cover before Miss Violet was born and it is gorgeous!  I used in the hospital (see pic below) while all my in laws were in the room!  I will be hosting a giveaway for one lucky reader to choose a Bebe Au Lait cover as well.  Stay tuned for my full review and your chance to win!        

Nursing Violet with the Bebe Au Lait Cover

 Nursing Pillow - I have always used the My Brest Friend pillow and have had a great experience with it.  Not only does it support the baby perfectly but it also supports mom’s back and makes nursing SO much more comfortable!  The company now has a travel pillow that packs flat as well as a deluxe pillow.        

Nursing Bras - I used 2 daytime and 2 nightime bras.  Daytime I use the Medela underwire.  For nightime I love both the Blue Moon bras and the Majamas.  They are super comfortable and easy to feed baby!  

Footrest – Any one will work.  If you are short it will make feeding a whole lot easier!       

Breastmilk Storage – Bags or Bottles       

Breast Pads- I use the disposable Medela Pads because they work the best for me and really are the smallest under clothes.  However, there are tons of options out there.       

Gel Pads for Nipples – I have problematic breasts as we all know.  These make them feel better.       

Bottles -  Sophia and Miles never really caught on to the bottle thing but I am determined to get Violet to drink my milk from a bottle so that I can go out to dinner and have a couple glasses of wine before she is 8 months old.  I have a million bottles from trying out so many on my first 2 kids but in the first 2 weeks I have only used 2 small glass evenflo bottles with tiny stage 1 nipples.    

Bottle Cleaner – Hands down the Munchkin is the best.  When it gets too gross for bottles use it for dishes and pots and pans.  The suction cup bottom makes it stand up in the sink.  Awesome!  

Munchkin Bottle Brush

Burp Cloths- I go for the pretty ones from Bebe Au Lait and Swaddle Me Designs – I can’t help it!      

Stuff for Baby    

Baby Carrier (Sling or Pack) - Babies love to be by their mommies and daddies and so baby wearing is a part of my life from the day I leave the hospital!  It is also totally necessary to have something to carry your newborn in to keep your hands free if you want to get anything done or keep your pre-schoolers grubby little hands off the newborn!       

I LOVE my Hotsling because it does not have to be adjusted and can easily be thrown in my purse or diaper bag!  You pick your size based on your measurements.  The company now offers an adjustable version that looks awesome!  All of their slings are super stylish and oh so comfy!       

Sophia at 4 Months in Hotsling

I also love the ERGO baby carrier and would love to try out the infant insert.  You could easily use this carrier with the insert for newborns all the way up through toddler hood.  I carried Miles in this (20 months old) while I was 8 months pregnant with Violet and we both remained comfortable – he slept the whole hour we were in Target! 

Kiddopotomus Swaddle Me - All my babies slept in these fuzzy swaddlers and I found them SO much easier than swaddling with a blanket.  I also love how they keep baby so warm while eating since I can leave the bottom on the baby.       

Special Blanket- I went with Little Giraffe for my first 2 and have been using an extra plush blanket for Violet until I find the perfect blankie.  I love to have one really nice blanket for my kids!      

Carseat / Stroller Blanket -I have used the Woobee from Rain or Shine Kidssince I had Sophia and loved it!  It ties on to the stroller or car seat so you don’t need to worry about it falling off.  It can also be used as an outdoor play mat, nursing cover or baby carrier cover!  The company, Rain or Shine Kids, has also come out with a newer and more affordable B Blanket which they sent me to try out!  Stay tuned for the Mommy Words full review and giveaway! 

Newborn Clothes- I go with 6 of everything and love the Carter’s NB size at Babies R Us.  I got a bunch of the CUTEST onesies and pants combos and then a  couple of footie jammie sets and we were set.  Violet was so tiny that we needed some preemie clothes but for Sophie and Miles (over 7 pounds at birth) the NB clothes were perfect for the 1st 2 weeks.      

Newborn Hats and Bibs – Newborn babies are really small – smaller than you think – and 0-6 month hats and bibs are really for bigger babies.  I had 3 hats and 10 bibs.       

Newborn Socks – I love the Carter’s super fuzzy socks from Babies R Us and they actually stay on!      

Receiving Blankets – I tuck these around my co-sleeper sheet so I don’t have to change it!

Books

Your Baby’s First Year Week by Week by Judith Schuler, M.S. 

The Nursing Mothers Companion by Kathleen Huggins

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition by Martha and William Spears)

Bathroom Business

Newborn Diapers and Wipes- I am a pampers girl all the way for the newborns.  Later I switch to a mix of Huggies and cloth but that is for another post!

Changing Table or Pad – I just use a changing pad and cover.  It is easy to move around and much cheaper!  

Trash Can with Lid and Bags or Diaper Pail – I prefer the Diaper Dekor or just a Good Trash Can.      

Diaper Cream – I use Boudreaux’s All Natural Butt Paste with Zinc Oxide.  The Zinc Ocide is important for frying baby’s tushie!

Very Gentle Shampoo- Mustela products are great.  I have also had good results with Aveeno products.  Stay away from anything with fragrance for your little addition! 

Alcohol- Sometimes the hospital will give you some umbilical cord wipes.  If not you will clean this area with alcohol and Q-Tips.      

Q-Tips - I use Q-Tips for everything from cleaning baby’s umbilical cord to their private parts to between their toes and then I take part of the box to my bathroom and part of the box to the the kitchen where I use them for projects of all kids!  Stay tuned for a designer Q-Tips giveaway for your nursery!      

Vaseline – If your baby is circumcised you will need Vaseline.  It is good to have around no matter what – but absolutely necessary for circumcised little boys. 

Towels and Washcloths – I used 2 of each.

Baby Bathtub- This is not necessary but I do use it both for the sponge baths and for regular baths once the umbilical cord has fallen off.  I just have a thing about putting my baby in the sink.  Call me strange I prefer the tub!  

Free and Clear Detergent – You don’t need to buy special baby detergent but you should make sure you have no colors or fragrance in your detergent and that you are not using dryer sheets but rather a ball or something that does not use chemicals to fragrance your clothes.  It can bother a newborns skin. 

Maxi Pads- Day and Night – After you have a baby you bleed.  I like the ones that come with little wipees.  Makes one feel a little cleaner!   

Stool Softener - You need to poop at some point.  This helps.  

Ibuprofen – Bring it on!  And you may even go home with a prescription for something stronger.  Fill it.  Just in case.

This is just my list but I can tell you my original registry had a whole lot more stuff!  In particular I had a lot of stuff that was special for newborns.  Newborn clothes were coming out my wazoo!  Only Violet has been little enough for long enough that she is actually getting wear out of these tiny things!  Then there are the newborn loungers and sleep things and mobiles and toys and special mats for tummy time.  I have now free cycled most of these items.  I simply did not need them.  Babies need you – they need humans – not a ton of stuff (Except the swing – get a swing).  I am not saying that you will not buy some additional stuff down the road but for the first month or so your little bundle of joy has very simple needs!  There is no need to freak out of you don’t have every little thing.

You may have other things that you need if you have a different situation than us.  For instance, we don’t have a monitor.  I sleep one foot from Violet and she is with me the whole day.  So I do not need a monitor to hear her.  I also have a fader on our bedroom lights (installed after Sophia’s birth) so that I can turn on a light at night to move around or to nurse without disturbing everyone.  If you do not have this you will probably want a night light of some kind.  If you live in Minnesota and it is winter you will need a warm car seat cover that really bundles the baby since you do not buckle babies in with big coats on.  You get my point – this is a starting point – this is what I actually used.  When I upload the checklist I w ill add some of these possible needs to the list for you consideration.

Of course – the MOST important thing to have is every possible form of technology used to document memories and extra batteries for all!  Over here in bloggy land I have multiple chargers always plugging away to keep all my gadgets fired up and ready to capture these all too rare moments in a child’s life.  They are only this small for such a short time!  Cherish every moment!

Don’t forget to come back for the upcoming giveaways!

Like this post? Don’t want to miss a Mommy Words Moment? Then subscribe via RSS or by email to get all the latest from this Mom’s mouth! You can also use the social buttons below to add this post to your favorite sites or send it to your friends. Please spread the MOMMY WORDS!