I am not one to curse on my blog or out loud much really.  In my head it is a whole different story, but that is beside the point.

There is no other word but shit for our weekend.  It was everywhere.  Literally.

Violet is all good with pee pee in the potty and she just LOVES wearing undies.  She even potty trained her doll.  How sweet is she?

What she doesn’t relish is putting her nasty poop in that potty and it is driving us crazy.  It doesn’t matter if she has undies or a pull up on, she goes right in it and then takes it off with shit going everywhere and then sits on the potty, spreading the nasty all over everything.  Of course, I thought, the solution is simple.  She can be as naked as the day she is born and I will follow her around like a hawk.  When she makes that very obvious shit face, I will place her on the potty and she will learn.  It is not rocket science, right?

It could have worked, but Miles got sick this weekend. He came into my room late Friday night saying his body hurt and I heard the sound of his stomach turning.  In order to save my bed I sacrificed the carpet.  I spun him around (that’s the gentle way of putting it.  We have a brand new bed.) and he threw up all the way from my bed to the bathroom and to the potty.  He had nothing left.  It was all on the carpet.  We cuddled him and cleaned him and changed him and then I spent an hour cleaning our carpet, but I knew that this stain, like the ones in the other bedrooms, would be nearly impossible to get out.

On Saturday morning I was performing my hawk like observation of Violet when I head Miles cry out, “Mom, my toots are exploding!”.  I glanced at Violet and ran to see Miles trying to run down the hall with diarrhea running down his pant legs.  He started bawling and Ross and I were at a loss for a moment.  Don’t be shocked, we love him but that was just a lot to take in and we had to figure out a plan for getting him out of his clothes.  It turns out there is no good way and we all ended up covered in shit.  Thank God I rolled up my sleeves.  Miles’ clothes were not salvageable.  In fact, we have sacrificed 3 pairs of pants completely this week.  They were not worth saving, I promise.

This whole horror story lasted only a few minutes when we remembered Violet.  We looked in and she looked fine and happy.  Then we saw the floor.  Littered amongst the logos and the figures was a bunch of scattered turds.  One she had stepped in.  As gross as this was, it was better than the previous accident.  She looked at the poop and started to pick it up to put it in the potty.  At that moment I almost threw up too.

Needless to say, I cleaned a lot of floors Saturday morning.  I cleaned a lot of body parts.  I cleaned a lot of toys.

Let’s just say Miles got antibiotics and they have made him feel better but his toots keep exploding.  And he keeps yelling “exploding toots mom!”.

It’s been a long few days.

You might be wondering about the sunshine?  Well, first, we are getting there on the potty training.  That will be a big amen moment! Even better though, after 6 years in this house with carpets that have always needed replacing, we are getting new carpet!  My big wish got moved to the top of the list when we surveyed the damage of the past few days coupled with all the stuff that came on the carpet from the previous owners with 5 dogs.  It’s hard to move “not needed” things up the list with my husband, but this few days of shit totally did it!

I will totally be posting the whole before and after on Tip Top Nest, so I hope you can check it out!  It is my brand new home blog.  So there’s some sunshine too.  I love it!

I am off to continue moving all of the furniture out of the bedrooms.  I hope you are having a much less shitty time than I am!

She had a mystery rash covering her body.  This photo was taken a little before 9 a.m.  By 10 a.m. the rash had spread to her face and the entire red portion was becoming brighter and very swollen.  Of course I called the doctor instead of typing my fears to Dr. Google when I saw the nasty red area was surrounding her eyes.

$25 Bucks for Mommy Guilt and a Mystery

Of course, as usual after you pay $25 dollars to see a professional and not the free Dr. Google, the problem is completely your fault and basically untreatable.  Violet has hives.  She is allergic to something and I am supposed to figure out which one of the million things that child touches or puts in her mouth causes this outbreak.  I am supposed to go through these million things with the knowledge that 2/3 of the time, according to the real doctor, we will never figure out what the offensive item is.

If we cannot deduce by amazing sleuthing what item causes this and it remains all over her body in 2 freaking weeks, then we will go to the allergist.  So you know, the Dr. said that often this also yields no additional information but for the list of terrible possible allergies my child might have.  Let me just say we run the gamut of allergies in this family already.  Shellfish, bees, nuts, and even grass run in my husband’s lovely blood.  Awesome.  I’m pretty sure that $50 specialist co-pay would lead to something just awful.

So we begin the process of watching every single thing she touches and hoping that this goes away so she can enjoy her 2nd birthday on Thursday.

A Molloscum is Better than a Nipple

The day got even better when I asked about the bumps on Miles’ legs that have recently become very painful and irritated.  I was told he has very common internal virus that produces wart like bumps called Molloscum Contagiosum.  About 50% of children will get them but Miles has extremely sensitive skin and as his immune system recognized these molloscums (yuck!) it did what it was supposed to and started to attack them.  Now the back of his legs is a bloody infected mess and according  to the doctor I should be cheering on his immune system for finally getting it right.  This is less than a huge Wahoo in my book.

What we are really pumped about is the fact that we thought that one of those molloscum on his chest, after a few glasses of wine, looked a lot like a third nipple.  Well we all know from Chandler on Friends that a third nipple is like totally uncool and people just want to see it and whether or not is has hair and they call it a nubbin to make it cute and well, we just hoped he didn’t have one.  We would have loved him and his third nipple, but we are happy with that molloscum that will go away after his body physically attacks and mutilates it.

Now Investing in Band-Aid and Really Cool Pants

As you may have guessed, that whole contagiosum thing means this can be spread and so, for Miles to go to school, his third nipple like molloscum will need to be covered with a water tight bandaid and he will need to wear pants to cover his knees.  Let’s hope these babies go away before the southern summer roasts my poor little guy.  Good news is this type of bump is not spreadable to me or to other grownups unless we have a compromised immune system.  So, last night’s cuddle fest will not give me the bumps.  However, there are no more baths together, which will devastate Miles and he has to wear his long pants or jammies while playing with the girls.  Poor kid.  He loves nothing more than being naked.  So this blows.

As far as illness and affliction, I know this is small potatoes compared to some stuff out there, and I am grateful that our illnesses are more gross than serious.  Still, could today have sucked much more? Probably not.

I am off to make lists of a million possible allergens.  I hope you have something more fun on your agenda.

I think us moms have a great deal to do with whether or not our little men who love to help grow into big men who know how to do complicated things like plug in the vacuum and walk around pushing it over dirt or put dirty clothes in that big metal thing, add soap and turn it on. We can even teach them that with a dry cloth and a little spray of pledge they can remove that nasty stuff called dust on their own nightstand or giant television.  We mothers are powerful people, you know.

Clearly, my mom knew what she was doing when she gave my toddler brother Graham a Eureka vacuum.  She was making him a real man.  That’s her supervising his first vacuum lesson.  Can I get an amen!

Pin It

My brother Graham has been in Charlotte for the past few months after serving our country in Kuwait, Afghanistan, Iraq and Korea.  He is getting back on his feet after losing many friends, being medically retired from the United States Army, being diagnosed with P.T.S.D.,  and struggling as a veteran to find his way without his army family.  He is amazing in so many ways and we are happy to help him out here in Charlotte.  Not only is he fantabulous to have around with the kids (yes, he babysits and is way more fun than me) but he is a real man….one who knows his way around a vacuum.

Mom, you would be proud.  We left for a week for Disney and when we came back my baby brother Graham had cleaned our entire house.  Vacuumed, dusted, swept, picked up and basically rocked my world.  Ususally we reutn from vacations to the crapper we left with the rush of packing visible in every room.  This time we came home to a heavenly house.

Thank you Graham.  We all love you.  You are going to make some lady very lucky someday.  And not just because you can clean.

Parents…teach your men to vacuum.  It is a skill that will always be appreciated, never make him look like a wuss and hey, if he resists, treat that baby like his first power tool.  What’s more manly than that?

You should try this one on your husbands as well.  Tell them you think it is hot.  I think it is when my husband cleans.

Good Luck!

p.s. Graham has invented at least a dozen physical games for the kids that they BEG for.  I should post those don’t you think?  Another perfect addition to your honey do list.

Image Credit: Safe Network

Perhaps we think our children are simply fighting back, or learning to stick up for themselves.

Perhaps we think kids will be kids and shrug off something that may seem like no big deal.

Perhaps we can’t imagine our child being the one who hurts someone else, and may or may not do it deliberately.

There may be many reasons we ignore early signs of bullying, but none of them are acceptable.  Without addressing mean behavior early, children learn that bullying is in some way normal and those that are bullied learn fear and loneliness and even at some point, self loathing.

Remembering

I remember being in 5th and 6th grade and being the girl “out” for a day or a week.  There were a few leaders of the pack and I suppose they chose whose turn it would be and for the one chosen to be out, life was miserable.  It was as if you had no friends.  The girls talked about you, made things up, said things to boys….and I, we, said nothing.  In fact, I am ashamed to say that when I was not out, I was confused and scared and did not stick up for other girls when it was their turn to be excluded.  I didn’t know what to do, and at that time a lot of adults said girls will be girls.  Soon this shall pass.

For some girls, it did not pass.  I remember girls transferring out of school for being mocked.  I know girls who tried to take their lives.  Bullying was the cause.

I remember the boys who got pushed around too.  For them, in my school, it was less an in or out thing.   Those who couldn’t cut it physically just seemed out.  For good.  There were some physical fights, but more, it was just a general lack of acceptance that I am sure broke their hearts.

Reflecting

Looking back on the childhood bullying I saw or experienced, I am thankful that for me, it went away.  I also look back further in my mind and know it started far before I felt it.  While we cannot always nip things in the bud, with bullying of any kind we must be vigilant.  Ignoring warning signs of your child being a bully or being bullied is simply not okay.

Yesterday I became one of the millions of people (5.7 million now) who watched 8th grader Jonah Mawry’s Video on YouTube.  This young man shared with the world the pain he experienced since his youth and the physical hard he caused himself as he contemplated suicide at a young age because he was mocked and hated at school and felt like he hated himself.  Then he shared that his life would not end and showed his last index cards reading “I am not going anywhere.  I have a million reasons to be here”.

Those million reasons and the bullying that almost moved him to take his life moved me to write about my own children.  We all have a million reasons to be here and should never be made to feel like we are not good enough, not pretty enough, not straight enough or not anything enough to live.

Reacting

I wrote a post in March of 2010 titles That Mean Girl is Mine in which I shared my then 3 year old was being very mean and excluding one specific girl at school.  It broke my heart to hear about it and to write about it, but I felt it was important.  Sophia has a strong personality and one that leans towards being a leader.  Leadership brings power over other people and in that nugget lies my fear.  Any power should be used for good, but we all know how easily cliques are formed and how very nasty they can be.  I simply will not allow actions of exclusivity to pass as anything other than unacceptable in my home.

Last week I overheard Sophia telling her brother about a club at school when he asked her why some people were mean to him on the playground.  Miles is 3.  Sophia said she could help him with whoever was being mean to him because she was in the “Bad Girl’s Club”.  He asked her why a certain girl was always nice to him and she told him that if they told her to mean, she would, because she always listened to them.  She proceeded to reveal who was in the club and that they planned things to do to people.  I was in shock.

I called her in and asked her to explain the club to me.  She blushed a deep and revealing red. I asked her how she would feel if someone was mean to her and she started to cry.  Thank God, she started to cry.  She said the club was new and that they didn’t actually do anything.  She said she did not make up the name.  She said it was not her idea.  It was no joke, I said, to make other people feel unloved.  Still red, she admitted she knew that, and said she was very sorry.

I asked her to tell me everything and I told her we needed to talk to the other parents and to her teacher.  She asked me not to tell Daddy.  I told her that we could both talk to Daddy and to her teacher.  I called the other mother that I knew and talked to her teacher the next morning.  Sophia’s teacher talked to the girl’s that day.  We talked with my husband later in the evening.

After speaking with her teacher, it became clear that this was not Sophia’s idea and that she did not plan the one attack the girls executed.  They chose people and attacked them with leaves.  You may giggle, but it all starts somewhere.  These girls are 4 and 5.  It doesn’t matter to me whether or not she did that one thing.  The fact that she would be in such a club warranted a serious response.

Now, there is no club.  All clubs in the 4′s class must include all kids or there will be no more clubs.  I guess they have a thing with clubs right now.

I thought for the moment, this was behind us.  The bullying stuff.

Then Miles became upset.  I picked him up from school and he said that he was sad on the playground.  He said there was a boy, the same boy who tried to pull his clothes off him on Halloween, who still tried to pull his pants down and also pushed him and his 2 best friends.  He said he got pushed down a lot.  Most revealing, I asked him if he was friends with this boy, as that can sometimes tell me if this is a playground thing.  Miles likes everyone.  He said they are not friends, that this boy is mean to him.  I did not leave carpool until I had spoken with a teacher.  I will talk to Miles’ teacher tomorrow.  You see, Miles could easily be bullied.  He is open-hearted and kind and not aggressive at all.  He does not thrive on competition and gets upset easily.  He could easily be picked on.  I will not let my son think I don’t care.  I will not assume this is a little kid thing and ignore it.  I have to address it.

I have to not only teach my children but protect them when I can.

Resolution

Whatever age your children are, please consider this an area of immense importance.  Bullying can go unnoticed by adults because it becomes so hidden in schools.  Listen to your kids if they still talk to you.  Let them know how much they are loved.  Speak to your kids about bullying from a young age.  Share the real value of kindness and inclusive behavior and model it at all times.

We need to do all we can to love our kids and show love to others.

Then, we need to work on preventing childhood bullying by teaching our children it is absolutely not okay to be mean physically or emotionally to others.  We need to teach our kids that people are different and that is good.  We need to prevent bullying when we can by being pro-active and responding to situations as soon as they develop.  Talk to your kids in words they understand.  Everyone knows what hurt feelings feel like.  These conversations aren’t always easy, but they need to be had.

Please intervene.  Whether it is my child or your child or a stranger, please get involved when you see or hear of bullying.  It is never okay.  Please understand that in bullying, kids often cannot work it out by themselves because there is an imbalance of power.  A dominant adult must step in – or guess who wins?

Be vigilant – follow up.  Like a hawk, I will keep my eye on this.  We will talk to our kids about their days, we will ask questions, we will care about their friendships and relationships.  I will talk to my kids and I will talk to their teachers.  When I hear something, even if it does not involve my kids, I will mention it to a teacher if it involves bullying.  This is not prying or tattling.  It is protecting.

It may not be a resolution but I resolved to fight childhood bullying with everything I have.  As my kids get older, it will only get harder.  As much as possible, I want them so see those million reasons to be here all the time and have the strength to see them even when things are hard.  I want them to see that others have a million reasons too.

Parenting is not easy and bullying may be one of the hardest issues we face.  I resolve to be on a campaign for nice with my family.  To show it, to talk about it, to reward it.

As I said before, make room at the the table.  Include others.  Be a friend.  This never goes out of style.

Here’s to acceptance, kindness and friendship.

Please share your own thoughts on raising kind children and dealing with the issue of childhood bullying.  It is real and terrifying what happens as our kids get older.  I would welcome any advice or comments.

Also, I do not ever ask, but please share this post.  Put it on Facebook, Stumble It, Tweet it….anything.  There are just too many parents who let this go too long.  It is critical that we help our children grow into respectful, kind, open-hearted people of the world.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

A hero is defined as

a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

Clearly the definition missed women and mothers as the act of motherhood is, in many ways defined not just by love but by courage and ability and qualities we never knew we had.

You are a hero.  I am a hero.  My mother is certainly a hero.  She is my best friend and an example to me every single day.  I could easily write about her and tell you what a wonderful mother she was through thick and thin.  You would all agree she is the bees knees as a mom.

Today I am not going to write about my mother.  I am going to tell you about my cousin Joslyn and her family.  I live every day in awe of what she and thousands of moms around this country fight through each and every day.  She is the mother of a little girl named London.

Joslyn is the mother of 3, like myself.  Ross and I were lucky and have 3 healthy children.  Joslyn has 3 beautiful children, but her baby girl London was born with what was only recently diagnosed Mitochondrial Disease and her family fights each and every day for little London.  She is in and out of the hospital and has had more procedures and surgeries than I can count.  London is a gorgeous little girl who loves life, but is often suffering. She lights up the room and every one who meets her is overwhelmed with joy at such huge spirit coming from her tiny body.  At almost 3, she weighs just 18 pounds.  Gaining weight is a daily battle fought with tubes and prayer.  Her father Mike says

If I was to announce London as a professional fighter she would be in the paper clip weight class…

Since her diagnoses of Mitochondrial Disease in June we now understand what some of her issues with lack of weight gain, digestive system, and autonomic system are stemming from.

Her disease is a progressive degenerative disease which means that for every 1 step forward she takes 2 steps back. September of 2010 London weighed over 20lbs and now she is weighing in at 18lbs on a good day.

Through TPN in April, Nissesn Fundoplication Surgery in July, and currently bolus feeding London has remained a very happy and cheerful child. Her personality is one in a million as she wants to high five every individual that crosses her path, eat dum-dum suckers, and sing & dance in front of 200 people at a Sunday morning Church service.

A mother like Joslyn could not be called anything less than a hero.  She has a constant list of things to do for London in addition to her other 2 children.  Not only does she have the regular activities but adds doctors appointments and surgeries and London’s daily regimen to her lists.  Children like London have very specific environmental needs and an overwhelming number of daily needs that other kids do not have.  I get overwhelmed by my life sometimes.  Then I think about Josy and her family and I get over it.  What I deal with is almost nothing compared to Josy.

Through all of this Joslyn has remained full of hope and ready with a smile for her family and friends.  I know how hard it is to remain peppy in the face of fear and hurt and confusion and she is hanging on.

Joslyn is a hero.  She goes above and beyond each and every day.  She did not chose her situation, but she does not give up.  Like us, she fights for her kids every day.

I truly believe that mothers are heroes.  I believe that every one of us should look in the mirror and acknowledge that what we do is amazing.  To give so much, to teach, to worry, to remain patient, to calm, to encourage and finally to watch them grow and then let them go, is not easy at all.  The love we share with our children is worth every difficult minute of motherhood.  Perhaps the love is even stronger for all we go through with our children.

The amazing thing about motherhood and heroism is that we don’t get to choose our kids or our battles.  We have our babies and we rise every day to the challenge of raising them.

I raise my glass to Joslyn and to mothers around the world.  You are all heroes.

I would love to hear your story. What mother is your hero?

Perhaps you know a heroic mom or see one when you look in the mirror. Share your story and be entered for a chance to win $2,500 cash from Allstate. Plus four runner-ups will receive a $100 Visa Gift Card. *The five finalists will be chosen from the Entries receiving the most votes.

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Disclosure: This is post is Sponsored by Allstate. The opinions expressed here are strictly my own. Official Contest Rules

Well, we use a lot paint, collect a lot of dirt, dump a lot of toys and miss a lot of toilet bowls but hey – I am teaching these kids to clean.  Sophia is 5.  Miles is 3.  Violet is 21 months.

How are we teaching them to do these dreaded tasks?  I have a couple of tips and I would love to hear yours!

First – taking responsibility for themselves and their things.

Have you ever said “I am not your slave?”  I have.  My mother did.  And guess what, sometimes I feel like it.  I get dragged around picking up after messes I did not make and it can make me mad.  Well, I told my two older kids to take care of their stuff including their beds, their clothing, their art boxes, their backpacks and their messes.  I was very clear and kept instructions simple.  I am not a total witch about it, especially since they are young, but we will delay play time until they have put their items in the laundry and yanked their sheets up.  I will always help as long as they are working.  You know what, this works.  They can do these things and it takes a little pressure off me.  These are not like allowance chores – these are just the basic things a person does to keep from living in filth.

Second – actually teach your kids to clean.

If you need to, teach your husband at the same time.  Today I gave him a toilet bowl lesson.  Kids cannot get excited about doing something well if they do not know how to do it.  I find that most little kids ask to help with what they consider “grown-up” tasks.  So, if you can pick out a few small things and show them the right way, you could end up with one less thing to worry about.  For example, my kids LOVE to dust.   I showed them everything that needs dusting and does not require them to climb on anything and they go at it.  I am impressed.  We gave them those swifffer wands and they are in heaven.  Some possible tasks for little kids include dusting, wiping off the kitchen table, sweeping with a small broom and anything else that is non-toxic and easy.  Oh – also – little kids can wipe pee off the toilet seat and / or the floor before they wash their hands.  It is just the right thing to do, you know?  Just teach them how and watch them do it and in time they will learn and be confident that they can help out.

Third – give them some cleaning goodies!

I already said how much the kids like dusting.  A big part of that is the dusting wand they use to do it.  It is not expensive and means they don’t need to spray anything to get the job done.  They each also have their own spray bottle that we usually fill with just water.   I am happy to go back over a wiped down surface with cleaning fluid.  They are over the moon when they are spraying down a table and then wiping it off.   Everyone is a fan of the little broom we have and they have tiny dustpans with brooms at Ikea for a couple of bucks.  So. Worth. It.  Sophia is 5 so she is allowed to help with the floors and the spray mop if I am there.  She also has an actual job.

Fourth – give them a job and hold them responsible.

Depending on their ages, kids can have a job or  number of jobs that are totally doable.  Sophia, at 5, is officially our Bathroom Counters Girl.  She also does toilet seats.  What a dear.  Basically, after teeth brushing is done Sophia takes a wipe and cleans the bathroom counters, sinks and faucets in the kids’ bathroom.  Miles can help at 3, but this is her job.  This way you never have any toothpaste buildup and believe me, small kids like to wipe things.  You could use a bath wipe or a baby wipe or the trusty water spray bottle with a sponge.  Your counters will be clean.  The key to this is its simplicity.  It is short, we need it done and she can do it herself with no frustration and no distraction.  We do it before bed so that there is no play time looming over her head.  You could have your own countertop kid or laundry sorter or baseboard duster extraordinaire in no time!

Fifth – make it fun!

When we are actually picking up a whole room mess (which happens all the time) or cleaning the whole house (this rarely happens) we like to shake it to some music on the old ipod.  My kids like to dance and sing as much as I do and it helps the time pass.  We also like to tell them how awesome they are when they do clean.  You know, brag on them a little.  They beam and we have made them happy to help again.   We do have rewards and are starting to offer Sophia some moolah for extra jobs.  The chore charts we have are not the most helpful for us, but simple rewards for a job well done are much appreciated and easier for us to manage than a big chart.  They know what jobs they are responsible for and they do put their little magnets on the chore chart, but we dole out rewards in more of a potty training type way.  Treats or stickers for a great job or extra playtime or an extra book for being extra helpful.  Incentive, however you choose to implement it, will help.  I have head with teenagers it is basically mandatory, so I am starting early.

Finally – manage your expectations.

Kids are kids – not professionals.  Small children can’t make a bed with nurse’s corners.  I am okay with them putting any blankets and pillows back on the bed and pulling the sheets and blankets up.  If I want a perfect bed, I will make it.  When my kids make the ugliest bed I have ever seen, I will gush and hug about how awesome they are.  In fact, Sophia has asked me about my special corners and baby, I cannot wait to show her how!  Small children may not put everything away in the perfect place, but if they are working at it who cares if some of the legos are in the dinosaur bin or a few pairs of socks are in the underwear drawer.  Set yourself up for small victories and rejoice in them.  You are teaching them to respect their home and their possessions and take care of things.  You are not trying to teach them to be perfect, because no one is, and then they are set up to fail.  If your small children are helping at all – consider this a big win!

Hopefully these tips will help you teach your little ones about keeping a picked up and clean house.  Now, just in case you have ever wanted a real professional to clean your house (angels are singing, right?), you have that chance right now!  Maybe you could have your kids watch them and learn a few tips!

Share your tips on teaching and encouraging kids to clean and win!

Want to hand over cleaning to the experts? Of course you do! Tell us how you have taught and encouraged your kids to clean and be entered to win one of two prizes!

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As this new school year starts, I know many of you are nervous about sending your precious babies off to school.  I know that many kids are terrified at first.  I know that the drop off can be an emotional train wreck for mom and baby.  I also know that for almost all kids, it gets better.  Much better.  I say almost all because there are a very few children who, in my opinion, are ready later than others.  They just aren’t able to handle the stimulation of a classroom or the separation and the mornings do not improve. There are some tips to getting the most out of pre-school and helping your child to be ready and to be excited.  The first few days or weeks may still be tough, but in the end your child should have a wonderful time making new friends, learning to listen to teachers and taking their first jump into education.  You might just make a few new friends too!

I am not an expert with a degree, but I have sent three kids to pre-school in 4 years and I’ve got some of the basics down.  I would love to hear any other tips or suggestions too!

1.   Find a Pre-School:   To be more clear, find a pre-school you like and can afford.  These two things do not always come together, so be sure to talk about a budget and what you are looking for before you start looking.     There are a lot of checklists out there but for me, I want to like the location, the play areas, the director, the classrooms, the curriculum and the teachers!  Also, because we are interfaith and many of the pre-schools here are part of a church or synagogue, I need to make sure I am comfortable with any prayers or other religious lessons.

2.  Make a commitment:  Most schools will ask for a minimum of 2 days for 2 year olds, 3 days for 3 year olds and so on.  They are not doing this to take your money.  They learned the hard way that kids need to be at the school more than just once a week to feel like a part of the class and make the adjustment.   While some kids are fine with 1 day, they often don’t get the same interaction with the class or make the same friends.  They also take longer to adjust to some time away from home.  While it may seem like a lot, the hours go fast and the kids do make friends, learn colors, letters and numbers, work on communication skills and on being a part of a group.  It helps to make your kids a full part of the class.

3.  Get excited: Even if you are terrified and nervous, make school sound exciting.  Talk to your child about what they will be doing and ask them what sounds fun.  It is a great idea to prepare kids by getting part of the reading list and reading those books.  Kids love to see something familiar in a class.  The most exciting things for us have been the first backpack, picking out their water bottle every year and for Sophia (my 4 year old) choosing her outfit for the first day.  Whatever sounds up your alley, pitch it!  While you can and should acknowledge your child’s fears and agree that it is totally understandable to be nervous, focus on the cool parts and let your child see how excited you are.  It helps, I swear.

4.  Get ready and then stop: Get all your basics in gear but wait on stocking the entire list until the school year starts.  Everyone will bring wipes and sanitizer and Kleenex and crayons.  If you send in your change of clothes and a lunch and then ask the teacher what they need after a week or two, believe me, he or she will need something that was not on the list.  Also on getting ready, if you work full time and will not always be the one picking up or dropping off your child, I think it is a good idea to have your regular nanny or sitter meet the teacher (perhaps at the open house or with you one morning) so all of the primary caregivers for your child know each other and know the school’s routine.   Make sure that person’s name is on all the paperwork too.

5.  Get some sleep: School is new and exciting but it can also be tiring.  Your child may change his or her nap schedule and he may need a little more shut eye.  When fall comes we roll bedtimes from 8 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. and some nights even 7.  If your mornings are full of the crabbies and you are barely making out the door, getting a little more sleep in your little genius may help.  It helps to start a week or two before the end of summer, but this is tough.

6.  Go to school but…keep goodbyes loving and brief:  Goodbyes are never fun but for kids, the longer they are drawn out the worse they are.  Trust that you have chosen good teachers for your kids and when you read in the handout that they prefer for you to say goodbye, give hugs and leave, they mean it.  These people understand that kids get upset and they are ready to calm them down.  It is easier for them to do it if you are not there.  I know it can be scary and sad to leave them, but stay perky and tell them how much you love  them and that you will be back and go.  If there is ever a real problem, believe me, the teacher will call you.

7.  Keep up with your child and the teacher: Read the newsletters, talk to your kids about school, read the books they read if you can and most of all, be sure to keep up with your teacher.  Whether it is a quick update in carpool or a conference or an email, you can talk to your teacher about your child.  Believe me, you can learn a lot.  The teacher sees a whole new side of your child and as they prepare for going off to Kindergarten pre-school can be a great time to identify early strengths and weaknesses.  Besides the early learning benefits for my kids, this has been one of the best things about pre-school.

When you talk to your child, make sure to ask about activities and names and keep up with all the ups and downs.  Finally, if you have any concerns about bullying or aggressive teasing or rough behavior, talk to your teacher.  Kids will talk about these things and this is a time to stop this behavior before it takes hold and before your child either becomes afraid or becomes the mean one.

8.  Tape up that artwork and make some play dates: Your child is a pre-school rock star.  They are learning and growing and gaining just a little independence.   That’s okay.  That’s good.  They will always love you and you will get the best hugs when they come home!

I am sure there are a million suggestions and I’m curious to know: What advice do you have for moms prepping for preschool? Guess what?

Commenting here will give back to supporting literacy! 

KinderCare will choose one lucky participant and make donation in their name to the Reach Out And Read chapter of their choice!  How cool is that?  So hold back nothing moms and do what you do so well…tell us your advice!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of KinderCare. The opinions and text are all mine. Official Contest Rules.

Violet takes the cake for climbing.  The girl is smart and strong and at 18 months it seems that one day she may give Spiderman a run for his money.

Usually she calmly swings a leg up until it catches on the top of the crib and then pulls herself to the top.  Then she swings both legs over and lowers herself.  As soon as she is down, she walks away to find a toy to play with.  Even if it is 3 in the morning.  The fit that results when we remind her it is bedtime is epic.  To say we are short on sleep these days is laughable.  I am a zombie.

I think she is tired too, because I finally got a video of her and today she fell.  Of course it did not bother her one bit.  Sophia thought is was hysterical.  Violet went on with her business of bedtime ignorance.  And I thanked God once again that she did not perish.  She is drawn to danger.  I am in trouble.

We went ahead and ordered a crib tent to protect Violet and the little sleep I currently get. I said I wouldn’t but she does not sleep through the night and she shares a room with Sophia so having her leap onto her sister in the middle of the night is not working. I guess it is just another reason not to judge the parenting decisions of others. You just never know when you will be stuck in the same position.

How did you keep your climbers alive?

She is freaking crazy.

She is an extraordinary climber and spends most of her time on top of tables or counters or climbing bookcases.  I am terrified she will get hurt and break something.  She just laughs.

She doesn’t break.  She breaks my stuff.

Last week I found her on top of the back of our couch, ripping the stands off the back of our photos.  She destroyed the crytal frame that hekd our wedding photo.  I found her and felt a pit in my stomach as I saw the destruction.

Then, she climbed up the china cabinet and a door came open.  She climbed down and must have known what I cared about the most.  She went for the wedding china and thre two of my tea cups on the ground.  They broke.  My heart broke a little too.  I don’t get attached to stuff but I don’t have many fancy things and I love my wedding china.   She didn’t even hug me when I cried.  She was a little scared and when I went to hug her she started laughing.

Today we were hanging out and she pointed to my wedding album.  The kids love to flip through it and are always super careful.  I took out the album to look the pictures with her.  She did not like me turning the pages.  She threw a hysterical fit and ripped the picture on the cover of our album.  Her wild arms clawed at the album and she was satisfied with the ripped picture.

Now she is eyeing my wedding rings  and trying to pull them off my fingers.  I don’t know what her dastardly plans for my rings might be, but at this point she can have them over my dead body.  First the rings and then what if she went after Ross?

This little girl has an eye for destruction.  Sophia is hiding her vaulables (read: her lip gloss) and I totally get it. 

Sheesh, she better hope I do not hold a grudge when goes to plan some big fancy wedding.  At least she has a long while to make it up to me.  Hopefully a VERY long time.

Now, it is a battle for the first bite.  It doesn’t even matter what we are feeding him.  We all sit down and the trauma begins.

First, he says his belly hurts.

Then, he starts crying for mommy, when I am sitting right next to him.  This moan turns into a wail.

We tell Miles that if he wants to scream and cry he needs to be excused from the table.  We try to be gentle.  He dissolves and begins to near hysterics.

We send Miles to time out.  His wails for Mommy escalate and he is inconsolable.  To be honest, I keep wondering why they can’t call for Daddy when they are losing their shit.  It’s always Mommy when things are disintegrating.  Wahoo, my kid wants me when the world is falling apart but wants Daddy when the the good times come.   I’m so lucky.

Time out doesn’t work.  He never calms down.  He whimpers his way back to the table claiming he is ready to eat and when he sits down,. his ailment changes.

Now his belly doesn’t hurt, he is coldy.  It’s almost 100 degrees outside and I know this is impossible as I can smell the sweat on the rest of us.  Sounds lovely doesn’t it?

In between time outs he moves from coldy to every other malady he can think of.  He claims his eyes hurt.  I come back with explaining that perhaps that is from all the crying.  He says his nose hurts.  I remind him that due to the crying his nose is running.  Then he moves to the ridiculous.  His toes hurt.  His fingernails hurt.  His hair hurts.  His knees hurt.  His hands don’t work.  His toes are sore.

It goes on and on and then he  asks, with tears rolling down his cheeks, if he can have a treat.  I hate this moment because I want him to eat his food and I am not against bribery, but anyone who has thrown a fit like this does not deserve a treat.  Still, I try to avoid the question and focus on the food.

Everyone tries to help.  Sophia and Ross and my brother, who is staying with us, make up games. We try everything.

Everyone else is done eating and focusing on Miles while he moves his food around his plate and whines.  I love my little guy to death, but this is too much.   Finally, my brother is able to get him to eat by making a contest out of each flipping bite.    After 45 minutes of hell, the little man finally takes his first bite and we all hold our breath.

Sometimes he continues and finishes his plate as if he just sat down. Other nights, like tonight, the whining resumes and he is sent to time out.  Tonight he finally finished his dinner more than an hour after we started.  He sat on the floor of the kitchen with his Dad and ate his grilled cheese.  Who doesn’t eat grilled cheese?   There were no vegetables to be seen tonight…and still…the meal monster surfaced.

Here’s the kicker.  This is happening at breakfast (with bagels people) and lunch as well.  I am totally overwhelmed and ignoring other responsibilities and my little blog just to nourish my son.  It’s not even working!  I can’t seem to explain to my husband how terrible this all makes me feel.  He was away last week and was shocked at how bad the situation has become.

Other than meals, he remains my gorgeous, hilarious clown of a son.  He continues to light up a room and make me laugh until my sides hurt.  He is a joy with a big BUT…

I need your advice and please, share your food horror stories. Should I simply excuse him from the table to his room and not let him join us until he is calm?  Should I clear his plate when we all are finished if he sits calmly but does not touch his food?  Does anyone have any tips or ticks for me on this one?   I am at my wits end.

In good news, Violet is my new garbage disposal and is faster than I am at cleaning the floor.  She eats what she finds, but hey, at least it gets clean.  Sophia is like a little mommy, trying to help and show how good she is by eating her food and soothing her brother.  2 out of 3 ain’t bad…but it could be better.