You may not think that looks are very important.  They say Content is King.  I will be the one to burst your bubble just a bit.  Unless you are writing just for yourself and don’t hope to grow your readership and perhaps even find opportunities for monetization, you are wrong. If content is King, Design is Queen…and she holds some major power.  You have only a few seconds to draw a new reader in.  Even the fastest reader cannot digest your brilliant words in a matter of seconds, so they do like most and judge a book by its cover.

Readers want to look at something nice.  Companies want their ad to be placed on a good looking, organized site.  We want our blogs to be a reflection of ourselves and/or our topics.  You don’t have to design for others.  Your look can and should be all you.   It just needs to have a cohesive feel, be simple to navigate and easy to read.

Your blog is all about content, but all this other stuff you want people to see has to go somewhere.  Your options include inside the header, in your sidebar(s), in your footer or even floating on your background.  Today, we’re talking about where most people put stuff…the sidebar.

The Sidebar or Sidebars

The sidebar pulls us in and invites us to insert a million widgets broadcasting a bajillion different things.   Shop here, read this, follow me, here’s where I’ve been and on and on.  It is also so tempting to throw in as many affiliate links as possible, hoping for a few bucks here and there.  Proceed with caution.  That space is not so big and it gets crowded very quickly.  Having said that, I like looking at sidebars and have found some that effectively merge design with all the practical requirements.

In sidebars:  size matters.

It does not matter if you have 1 or 2 sidebars but beware sidebars that are larger than your content.

This is simple and while I am sure there is some blog somewhere that can pull this off,  I have not found it.  Your sidebar(s) should not be wider than your content.  If your content area is 400 pixels and you have two 250 pixel wide sidebars, the focus is on the wrong thing and your blog looks unbalanced.  I find it incredibly hard to read very narrow content areas so please leave some room.

Once you have decided on the overall width of your site, consider making the sidebars no more than 40% of your page area width if the sidebars are on one side and no more than 50% of your page area if your content is between the sidebars.  Also, and I will talk more about this in my content post,  please have a content area of at least (very minimum) 400 pixels wide.  When you get smaller than that things start to look funny.

Gigi from A Kludgy Mom kindly let me fiddle with her site to show you what I mean.  I changed her sidebars to be 550 pixels combined and reduced her content to 350 pixels wide.  See how the focus is in the wrong place?  If this were a real example, those sidebars would be packed chock full of stuff distracting from your words.

Gigi’s blog was not harmed in this experiment.  She actually continues to have a content area of 513 pixels and a combined sidebar area of 412 pixels on her beautiful blog.

Just take a look at your blog or ask a friend to help you.  Where is the focus?

Make your sidebars large enough to read what is in them.

I know, this knife cuts both ways.  If you think of your sidebar as advertising things that you care about, whether or not this is actual ads or your buttons and social media links, then think in terms of real advertising.  The IAB (Interactive Advertising Bureau) regularly reviews and updates core standard ad sizes for online use.   The smallest standard size in terms of width is 160 pixels.  For bloggers, the square 125 x 125 pixel button is still popular.  If professional advertising firms believe they need a certain minimum width for an effective ad, shouldn’t you give the same space on your blog for what you want to promote?

I would recommend sidebars be a minimum of 150 pixels wide if you have only one and a minimum of 135 pixels wide if you have two.  This takes into consideration the bloggers’ beloved square and leaves some room for padding around the image or content.  If you do have a very narrow single sidebar and want to use square buttons, you could always just make them slightly larger to fill the space.  I just think a single narrow sidebar with a huge content area gets lost in the shuffle.

Give your stuff some space!

Don’t cramp your style.  After coming up with a design and a plan you can ruin the look of your blog by piling your sidebar so full of stuff that nothing can be seen but clutter.  Keep it simple.  Choose what you want to display first and above the fold (what people see before they scroll) and then prioritize your wants through the very bottom of your available space.  If there is not room for something without removing all padding or making it tiny, move it down.

Space is nice.  It lets the eye focus on each object you choose to show individually.   I like to see a few pixels between images and between one line of text and the next.  It’s just easier to read that way.  I like to see the same space between “categories” on the sidebar.  Whether it is simply space or a dotted line (like you see here) it is a good idea to visually divide separate areas.

Put your important stuff first and make it look good.

If you are writing a blog and desire subscribers, let people know how to follow you right up front.  This may be done in a header or floating but it is most commonly seen on the sidebar.  If you have a lot of followers, it may be a good idea to put this information right there.  I said it before…there is some sort of “magic” number in blogging that brings more followers.  If you show that you are above 1,000 or so followers, some people assume your blog is good stuff and will be more likely to join the ranks of your fans.  This is not bragging it just makes sense.  I don’t have a giant following yet (yes, you may feel free to follow me ad help a gal out), so I just found buttons I think are good looking and then drew one for email since it wasn’t included.  You can find awesome social media icons through google but I really like the ones I saw here.  The real key is to make it easy for people to follow you on your different social networks.  One note:  test all your links.  I have been to more than one site where the images linked to the wrong place or even someone else’s blog.

Check out Rachel’s blog, A Southern Fairytale.  Her header and tagline tell us exactly what her site  is about and then her sidebar tells readers right away how we can stay updated with all her awesomeness.  You can easily subscribe by email or click on any of those cute little kitchen gadgets to subscribe to her RSS feed, follow @sthrnfairytale on twitter, send her an email or subscribe to her YouTube page.  She also shows us that more than 1900 other people follow her, so we will not be alone in our love for her.   There is no clutter at all.  Just lovely.

As a note, if your biggest thing is photography, put a photo or a slide show right up top too.  If you are a food blogger, you could consider a slide show of your recipes.  A crafter…show us your projects.  A reader is interested in what you love…show them what you’ve got and your sidebar has suddenly become interesting and oh so clickable.

The awesome Heather and Whitney write Rookie Moms, a blog that gives parents all sorts of ideas for things to do with even the littlest babies to keep our brains from atrophy and keep our offspring happy.  The niche here is obvious.  New parents or caregivers looking for things to do.  This is so popular and these girls are so great they wrote a book too!  Anyway, their niche is going to bring readers but what they want is for people to immediately be able to see what their site offers.  So, the first thing in their sidebar is a choice of links to baby activities by age.  Directly below that one can sign up for their email newsletter.  If you have little ones and see all those activities of course you want the newsletter!

 Include categories in your sidebar – not just the dropdown (if you have not already done so in your navigation).

You want readers to see what your blog has to offer right away.  If you have not already thought about what your main categories are as I previously suggested, now would be a great time to do so.  You really want no more than 10 or so parent categories (travel blogs may be the exception) and anything else should be a sub-category or a tag.  This will help you in writing and in the reader’s ability to find the area they are interested in.  I rarely pull down a drop down list of categories.  When I do, I usually see a list of 20-30 for a newer blog and 50 or more for older blogs.  Clean up your categories and the reader will not even have to use a drop down, you can show them what you write about.

Kimba’s adorable blog A Soft Place to Land shows us her main categories in a style that matches her site perfectly.  Believe me, it makes me click on those categories, many of which I never would find through a drop down menu.  She also has a nice example of how to display social media icons vertically instead of horizontally.

Including categories is great for any blogger but is especially awesome if you blog in a niche such as food, DIY, photography etc.  Let people find what they are looking for fast!

A great example of a “mom” blog that does this is Ilana’s Mommy Shorts.  I love her left sidebar.  It makes me curious and I always end up clicking on one of those categories.  It is also very good looking and shows that a little color goes a long way!

In good design, please align.

I don’t need to give you examples of this.  You look down a sidebar and one button is align right, one is center, text is align left and so on and so forth all the way down the page.  Pick an alignment and go with it.   For your sidebar titles I prefer center or left but as long as they are all the same it really does not matter.  As far as sidebar content, centered images look best in relation to the rest of the page but if you have left aligned or right aligned that is fine as long as they are all the same.  Your eye should be able to follow a line down.

Part of the problem here comes from inserting the code from other people’s sites into your own.  Many of these come with formatting and sometimes this includes alignment.  Here’s a secret…they want you to link to them.  You are being nice to do so.  You are allowed to make the image the right size for your site and to change the alignment for your site as long as it is not a paid ad or a contractual agreement to post a certain size.

For example, I have joined a number of networking and opportunity groups.  I really like all of these groups but to have more than a few badges at 125 pixel squares or larger would be a lot.  All of these badges came in differing sizes and alignments.  Some had margins, some did not.  I gave all of the images the same dimensions and then added a 3 pixel horizontal margin on each side.  I also reduced the size of the images to 65 pixels.  While I know they are small, these are not advertisers paying for a certain size ad.   I want to show my allegiance but I do not want to take up half my sidebar to do it.  When I add another badge, I will re-format these images to fit 3 x2 and each will get slightly larger and still fill the box nicely.

One really helpful thing is to create a post in draft form and edit your widgets in it.  This way you can use the WYSIWYG tools provided by WordPress and Blogger and remove all the existing formatting and isnert your own.  You can fiddle with sizes and margins and then you can have all of your text widgets saved in a draft post.  It works really well.  You simply pop over to the html tab when you like what you see and copy the html into your text widget.

Don’t forget the look of your sidebar headlines.

I mean the titles.  I hope you have them.  Again, it lets the eye quickly find what the reader is looking for.  I have seen so many sites where the headline is tiny and in non bold font that matches the content but is tiny compared to the images and / or text in the sidebar. Why not make them match the style of your site headlines or at least be slightly larger that standard text?  Whether you use google web fonts or a font that comes with your theme or code in an additional font as I did, it is a nice touch. 

I do have one note on fonts.  All browsers are not created equal.  That is why when you see the code for fonts there is a list of fonts from which the browser can choose.  One of these should be a standard font like Times New Roman or Arial or Helvetica that every browser, no matter how old school, can understand. 

For instance, my css for my sidebar headlines (and my post titles) is as follows.   font-family: ‘Museo 300′,’Georgia’,'Arial’,sans-serif;.  Notice how my special font Museo is followed by normal fonts.  My first choice, Georgia, matches the font of my content font.  The next are simply last choices, although looking at it I might switch it up to Verdana just because I am not a fan of Arial.  For me, Apple’s Safari browser hates me, so if you are using this you may notice that my sidebar headings are not exactly the same as my post titles.  I don’t know why, but I have learned to live with it and wait for it to change.  The point is, make sure to check your site in every browser and at least try to make those headlines pretty and noticeable.

Don’t go widget (gadget) crazy…include what matters.

The sidebar often gets filled up with every widget out there.  Choose wisely and code where you can instead of using a plugin.  Your site will load faster, you will be less likely to have issues with your site while upgrading your platform or one of your 40 plugins and your sidebar will just be cleaner.  In the end you should include what you really want there as well as any ads that are supporting your site.  I would say that if you are using Google Adsense or one of those ad programs where you cannot choose how it is formatted or what is advertised, I would place it below the fold and maybe even after all your other sidebar needs have been met.  They simply are not the most good looking things out there and every once in awhile an ad shows that you are just not a fan of.  You might as well not have this at the very top of your site.

If your sidebar includes widgets that play music or have pop-ups that come up when I click on your site, I will probably not stay for long.  While I want sites to look good, I do come for the content, and this is simply distracting.  A sidebar should not try to steal the show.

Give advertisers a nice place.  I mean, they are paying you.

If you do have a successful blog with lots of advertisers, know that the area above the fold is most valuable.  You can have 6 or more ads up here without destroying the look or taking up your entire sidebar.  I really like what Heather from Theta Mom did with her ads at the top of her site.  She created a Marketplace for women in business and then gave those businesses top space on her site.  The businesses are special and she says so in the headline.  These are “Marketplace Sponsors of Theta Mom.  Supporting Women in Business.”  She draws the reader in a makes them curious about those awesome companies. While there is not a lot of sace between the images, she has given them a group and made them fit her sidebar perfectly. 

Notice that Heather moved her subscription icons to he header in her re-design.  If you have advertisers, this can save a lot of space at the top.    Her other advertisers are further down the page, displayed in the same manner.  Heather did a great job making the practical look good!

Your sidebar should only be as long as your blog’s content.

You know you have been on a site where the sidebar goes on long past where the content ends.  This is more of a design pet peeve…but it just looks bad.  Try opening up your shortest post (a Wordless Wednesday or just a couple hundred words) and scroll down.  This is the available space for your sidebar.  If you go beyond this your content area will just be a huge empty space.  Trim your widgets or re-organize.  Consider moving your blogroll or awards to a separate page.  Think about designing a  fat footer for your site (more on footers in this series).  You may want to give your sidebars a little space and reduce your content area slightly.  This is where you are really tweaking your design to both get everything you want and maintain a good design.  Sometimes you can’t have the cake and eat the whole thing too. 

If you’ve got it…flaunt it.

If you worked your tush off on a ebook, have a fabulous meme, a killer post series, write for another awesome site, have been featured on mega sites or just have something totally cool you did then by all means show it off in the sidebar!  It is much better than hiding this inside some random category or separate page.  Just format your buttons or links or badges to look good on your site and promote away!

The Sidebar List:

1. In sidebars, size matters.  It does not matter if you have 1 or 2 sidebars but beware sidebars that are larger than your content.
2. Give your stuff some space.
3. Put your important stuff first (like subscription options) and make it look good.
4. Include Categories in Your Sidebar – Not just the dropdown (If you have not already done so in your navigation).
5. In good design, please align.
6. Don’t forget the look of your sidebar headlines.
7. Don’t go Widget (Gadget) Crazy…Include what Matters.
8. Give advertisers a nice place.  I mean, they are paying you.
9. Your sidebat should only be as long as your blog’s content.
10. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

So let’s get to rocking our sidebars.  Pretty soon we’ll all have some gorgeous blogs to show off! If you haven’t checked out the first post in this series please do.  It’s on Header and Navigation Design.

Have kudos or questions? Want to add something or respectfully disagree?  Post away in the comments and feel free to join the Mommy Words Blog Frog Community where we discuss blogging, design, parenting and so much more!

I listened to Jennifer James of the Mom Bloggers Club and Mom Blog Magazine speak at Blissdom and she said if you want to find opportunities and grow your blog, your blog should be beautiful.  I agree 100%, but I think many people don’t think it matters as much as it does.

If your content can’t be seen or your blog is just plain ugly, cramped, loud, disorganized, dark, or messy, visitors may just click on and click off.  We all have very busy schedules and there are so many blogs, why not surf on one that’s pretty and easy to use?  I want to read great content, but I probably won’t find it in a sea of design mistakes.  If I am a company looking for ad space, I want my add to look good and be presented on a good looking blog.  I want my ad to be seen and not lost in a million colors and buttons and text.  It just makes sense to make your blog look its best.

If you are a beginner, my first piece of advice would be to keep your design and structure simple as you learn the ropes and determine the look and feel you want for you blog.  

If you have been at this awhile, stretch your design muscles and take a new look at what you have created.  You may need some organization.  You may need to clean house.  It is possible that your current theme/design is not working for the varied content you are creating.  Whether you are a novice or a pro – it is worth the time to evaluate how your blog looks and feels to a reader. 

I suggest you find a blogging buddy who you trust and ask them to trade ideas with you.   You can evaluate each other’s space and make recommendations.  You can test each other’s sites.  It is always good to have another’s eyes and mouse on your blog.  Honest feedback will make all the difference.

Finally, check your design in every browser you can think of.  Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome and Safari all display some things differently and you want to make sure that your design looks good in all of them. 

So, what makes a beautiful blog?  Let’s start at the top. 

Part I of this series will cover the Header and Navigation area.  Stay tuned for Sidebar, Content and Footer.  All together, they can make a beautiful blog!

Your header should make a statement but not be the only thing we see.

I have seen blogs with gorgeous headers that take up almost the entire landing screen.  That’s great if you are a graphic or web designer and you are literally marketing your skills in your header.  It’s also okay if you are a mega blogger and people already love you.  For those of us who are trying to feature our content and aren’t already famous on these interwebs, this won’t work as well.  This area is called “Above the Fold”, meaning a user does not have to scroll down to see this portion of your page.  If all I can see is a header, your awesome content is lost already.   So too is the ability to run ads in this coveted position on a blog.

Ideally your header should be no more than 250 pixels tall to leave maximum space for content on this prime real estate.  Yours could be higher if you have some kick ass header that also includes some content or navigation.  As far as width I would keep headers (and therefore the overall width of the site) to around 1000 pixels wide or smaller (mine is slightly larger).   Remember, you want people to see your whole site no matter what size their monitor.  I love to be able to see some basic navigation as well as the title of the recent post and at least a few words of content.  You know…to draw me in. 

Here is a lovely and super simple header from Bakerella.  This is totally appropriate for Angie’s adorable baking site.  She is creator of the Cupcake Pop and rocks out the delectable baking ideas and fabulous food photography on her blog.  The header is short and the content is right up front.  The Bakerella header is 990 x 141 pixels.  Small and certainly sweet.

Jill’s header at Scary Mommy is technically 950 x 249 pixels but she allows her impressive logo  to shine by dipping below the header area and balancing it with the Society area of her site.  It makes a statement, but her site is not lost.  You can get creative if you have a large graphic and not lose your content completely.

Click over to your blog and check it out.  Can you see your content?  Does it make a statement?

Your header should be simple and reflect your site.

You have just seconds to draw in a reader.  Your header should be unique and convey the personality of your blog.   See Jill’s Scary Mommy header above.  You should include your blog’s name and your tagline.  If you have a logo, it should be represented here in some form.  Everyone who clicks sees the header and identifies it with your brand, so you want it to shine. 

Choose colors and graphics wisely.  Whether your header works with your site or your site with your header, they are a team.  Make sure they “go” together.  Choose a core of 2 to 3 fonts and main colors (or a general color palette) and stick with them throughout the site.   Check out the Color Scheme Designer for help with matching colors.   Finally, it’s great to show a picture that helps tell your story, but there can be too much of a good thing.  Just be careful not too pack too much into a small space.

I love Miss Britt’s new header.  She is writing about “Happiness.  Defining it, finding it, and hanging on to it”.  Her header is inviting and very personal.  She is sharing her journey with us and her header clearly conveys the blog’s purpose.  It is simple and elegant and it makes me happy just to see her smiling face.  Mission accomplished Miss Britt.

It doesn’t get much simpler than Tsh’s header at Simple Mom.  And how appropriate given her content.  Tsh leaves an amazing amount of space for valuable content, which is perfect because she likes to begin each post with a large featured photograph.  This header is 1032 x 115 pixels.

As a note, you may include your social media icons here and/or choose to show your number of subscribers with a subscription link.  I would only do this if the number is fairly high.  Many people will stay on a blog longer if they see a lot of other people follow that blog.  That’s just how it is.    The header can be a great place to stash these icons but make sure they mesh well, are easily recognizeable and do not distract from the design.

Notice none of these headers are overwhelming you with information.   Headers do not need to be over the top, but they should help people understand something about you and your blog and be pleasing to the eye.

Clickable headers are wonderful.

I love to click on a header and be taken to a home page.  It eliminates the need to add a home page link to your nav bar and when I click on the header and go nowhere I growl a little bit.  Sometimes it’s in the details, and this one is nice.

Your header’s inside code should match its outside look.

Google and other search engines can’t actually see your header or navigation bar.  Many bloggers change their title or tagline and do not remember to change the back end of their blog to make sure it matches.

Go to your blog and right click.  Choose view source.  Search for the <title> tag and be sure it matches your header.  That is what google sees.  Mine matches my header as shown below.

The simplest form of SEO…make sure what is there already is right.  More later on the other behind the scenes meta tags that make you search engine friendly.

You should have some navigation at the top of your site.

Your navigation bar can include pages or categories or both but visitors should be able to learn something about you (mine says I’m Brittany) and find any important pages on your site.   I want visitors to know about me, about the main things I write about (notice there is no cooking category) and know that I am PR friendly.  If your visitors hit your blog from many different points of interest as mine do, it is very helpful to have this categorical navigation at the top.  I am still doing a lot of work on my nav area, but at this point I have it centered and showing what I need.  My header and nav together total 1072 x 278 pixels.  And yes, I am proud of my header…because all that word stuff…it took a long time.

If you have a lot of pages and a lot of categories you could do a split navigation bar like Gigi from Kludgy Mom.  It will be easier to read than a doubled up navigation bar and provide some delineation between your categories and the other pages you have created.  Gigi has kept it simple and yet provided an enormous amount of information to her readers in just 940 x 206 pixels.  And it’s cute.

The navigation menu should match the site.

Obviously, your menu should be obvious to the reader and have a look that meshes with the rest or your site.  Resist the urge to do anything crazy here.  I have seen a lot of sites where the navigation has a totally different feel than the site.  Yes, cute icons are fun, but that doesn’t mean they will work for your blog.

Be careful with drop down navigation menus and other fancy things.

Drop down menus can be wonderful and feel very fancy on a blog.  However, I have found that sometimes it is hard to get those menus to stay open and that all the design work that was put into the blog did not work itself all the way through the drop down menus.  Your blog should be easy to navigate.  If readers cannot get to the content, they will become frustrated and leave.   It is not visitor or SEO friendly to have broken links so make sure to check these main links often and look at the pages they land on. If you have something fancy, please make sure it works and serves a purpose.

A note on categories.

It is so easy to end up with 50 categories on your blog.  Try to choose 10 or less main categories and put the rest into subcategories.  You can still include a drop down menu of your million categories on your sidebar but you will be able to provide visitors with an easy place to click through to what they want right from the start either in your nav bar or high on your sidebar.  Someone who is coming to your blog for a recipe might not want to sift through 30 other categories of posts to find another great meal and may stay on your site longer if they can find a clear link to a recipe archive.   I will talk more about categories when I cover organization.

A header and a navigation menu got married and it is a beautiful thing.

I am working on a similar concept for this blog but it is hard to design and code and will take awhile.  I have long been inspired by Maggie Mason’s site, Mighty Girl.  Perhaps it is because I have long been known in the superhero world as Awesome Girl and she is Mighty Girl.  While large, it marries header and navigation perfectly.   The header measures 940 x 317 pixels but in that space she has her logo, her title, her tagline, her main reader categories  and some really gorgeous images that both tell the reader what to expect and give a real sense of Maggie’s personality and style.  Maggie is a well known blogger and does not have to worry about the about me stuff up top.  You will find her about me and all the “stuff” in the fat footer.

It’s my love at first click header.  At once personal, professional, clean, compact and inviting

It rocks.

The Header  & Navigation List

1. Your header should make a statement but not be the only thing we see
2. Your header should be simple and reflect your site
3. Clickable headers are wonderful
4. Your headers inside code should match its outside look
5. You should have some navigation at the top of your site
6. The navigation menu should match your site
7. Be careful with drop down menus and other fancy menu coding.  Make sure anything fancy works.
8. Try to limit your parent categories and let your readers see them at or close to the top of the page.

Have you spent any time on your header?  Do you have any favorites?  I would love to know what you think of first impressions!  Let me know if you have any questions and yes…I am writing a tutorial on designing a header.

This is the first post in my Is Your Blog Beautiful Series.  The second post is on Sidebars! Stay tuned and please consider subscribing through RSS or by joining my lovely friends in Google Friend Connect so you can have that beautiful blog you have always dreamed about.

Comment (as defined by Merriam Webster)

1.  a note explaining, illustrating, or criticizing the meaning of a writing and 2.  an observation or remark expressing an opinion or attitude

Class (as defined by Merriam Webster)

1.  high quality : elegance and 2.  the best of its kind

As people, we are all different.  We have unique lifestyles, beliefs and focus.  We come from different places and are headed in various directions. Our selves are shaped by a million different forces such that none of us are identical.  This is what makes the world so fascinating, so brilliant and sometimes so difficult.  We can never fully understand where even our best friends have been much less grasp what has formed the strangers we come in contact with each and every day.

We are all so different yet we are all equal in that our opinions and our lifestyles deserve respect.  Not necessarily agreement, but respect.

Over the past few years I have added so many relationships to my life through this blog and becoming a part of the blogging community.  Usually I am humbled and amazed at the level of the support we provide for each other on topics spanning the spectrum of our modern world.    However, there is a sense of distance that people have in this online world, particularly when touchy subjects are broached, and I sometimes think we forget that there are real people with real lives behind the blogs we read and comment on.

In “real life” I have seen a lot of rude comments, sideways glances and rolled eyes.  I have been privy to whispered secrets and admit that I am not perfect and have also engaged in gossip or perhaps cast a judgement without fully considering what I was doing.  I am ashamed of that past behavior and have worked hard to accept all viewpoints and lifestyles without passing judgement.  Of course real life is not perfect…but boundaries do exist.

In this online world, a somewhat rude comment quickly turns into a tirade or a personal attack the likes of which one doesn’t see every day on the playground.  The relative anonymity of the Internet creates an environment where some people forget their manners and start spitting out some nasty words in comment sections and on twitter and facebook.   Even when a comment is given that is not a direct attack, oftentimes it seems that there is no thought as to whether or not the words will hurt someone else.

In Blogging, like in life, a comment can lift you up or pull you down.  It doesn’t hurt any less because it’s online.  If anything, at least for me, it hurts more, because I don’t know where it might be coming from.

My mother always said “Is it truthful? Is it needful? Is it kind?”

Well, if an article is published that you disagree with it is perfectly acceptable to register your disagreement and state your own view.  Your view is your truth, in this case.  If you have stated your view and then bash the author or another commenter, I would say that falls into the “not needful” and “not kind” categories.  I am not asking that people blow sunshine up the bums of bloggers during a disagreement.  It might be better said…”Is it unkind?”  Even with people that I differ with on every issue under the sun, I try not to be unkind.  I don’t have to agree with you to like you or even love you.  So if you are commenting and it is unkind, reword it.  If you can’t be anything but nasty, exercise some control and move on.  A nasty comment will not help any discussion.  If you must totally vent write your own blog post and think before you publish.

I am asking you to join with me in encouraging Comments with Class.   Comments are the lifeblood of blogging.  We develop friendships and discuss issues.  We learn from each other.  Great comments are a part of great blogging.  Even when we disagree, let’s keep it classy.  And hey, classy can be funny and it goes without saying that in mothering all talk of bodily function and such will be permitted and even encouraged in the spirit of camaraderie.  Oh, and let’s stay classy on twitter and facebook too.

If you are in, feel free to take the super chic little Comment with Class badge for your sidebar or anywhere on your blog.  It will be on mine and I will probably use it at the bottom of posts that might be prime targets for people who bite when they type.   The image will link here to this post.

Here’s a little one for you!

<a href=”http://www.mommywords.com” mce_href=”http://www.mommywords.com”><img src=”http://www.mommywords.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Comment-with-Class.gif” mce_src=”http://www.mommywords.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Comment-with-Class.gif” alt=”Join Mommy Words and Comment with Class” width=”150″ height=”107″/></a>

I hope that we can continue to make friends and engage in healthy debate while respecting each others choices.  That would be a wonderful thing.   Please let me know if you have anything to add or want to address.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I have spent a good deal of time trying to come up with a blog button as I don’t have a logo, per say.  After a ridiculous amount of time on the above, the only thing I really like is the tent but I can’t figure out how to make it a little snazzier!  I am thinking maybe a litte color and a different border.  I also thought about re-working my banner to use as a button but the words would all be way too small.  So for now, this is it.  It don;t look like much, but hooeee was it a pain in the tush.  Photoshop is a real tush whooper of a program!

I really just need something to fill in until I think of something I LOVE so that my facebook page and other sites that demand a square box can have one! 

Noe to bloggers, if you have a little picture or an actual logo this process is very simple but you do need to make sure to do it the right way.  I will put up a little tutorial on my blog design page when it goes live.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts.  I am all out of good brain power on this one.  Thanks!

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Please let me know if you can help with any of this.

Google Reader does not show my feed correctly. If you enter www.mommywords.com in as a new subscription it pulls a feed that does not exist. So no one sees my updated posts!

My commentluv is not working when I post comments on other sites.  Seems like this would have to do with the screwed up feed as well.

My incoming links is not working in WordPress.  While you, my friends, have been showing me some major linky love of late – Google and WordPress have no idea.

I am pretty sure this all has to do with my, excuse my language, f’ed up feed.  I cannot find where in my site it is screwy and after hours of looking and posting on help forums I am done for the night.

I will hopefully be up for blog hopping later to some of your awesome sites!

Right now I am going to cuddle with my hubby and try not to bitch to him about bloggy stuff he does not understand.

Grrrrr.

Oh see faithful readers…after weeks of trying to find or design the perfect background I have chosen instead a beautiful one until I can find the time to make one.  My skills in the graphic design department are just not up to my scrapbooking prowess! Shocking I know.  Both are sub par!

Anyway, see this lovely background, called Echiveria, by a wonderful real graphic designer named Evan Eckard who has made available some beautiful background images at his Site, DinPattern.  I want half of these on my walls seriously!

So after learning how to modify some code in my custom.css file located on my server, for heavens sake, and NOT in my wordpress admin panel, here is my new calm and wonderful background.  It does not at all express the chaos of motherhood or the theme of Mommy Words in terms of what goes through my head most of the day, but it does make me smile, and feel a nice breezy feeling.  That is good for now.  Enjoy it kids!

Surprisingly, while it took forever to find something I even sort of liked and then even longer to actually find how to do it, the TOTAL time for this new background was under 1 minute.  So Thesis Theme designers, even though I had to access some strange file in notepad from my server, it ended up being scarier than it was hard.

I even figured out the repeat by myself.  {Hint:  Take Out the “No” before the “Repeat”}  Thank You!

What do you think?  Like I said, I have some spacing issues left to resolve tomorrow but come on…opinions?

I will edit this post with step by step instructions when I am not feeling my brains leaking out of my eyes.  This design stuff is really sucky when you have toddlers and your brain is a bowl of mush that seeps at the smallest challenge.

For now, know that I will be telling you (and moving to a DIY page so that the front page is focused on actual mothering topics) how to create (using icons you find and simple design tactics) and insert your own unique subscription buttons using your widgets and images uploaded to your gallery (if you use WordPress).  I will also be telling you how to get rid of some of the uglier stuff that Feedburner puts in there automatically when you get the code from their site.  Hopefully if you have a WordPress site and want to avoid seeing your brains on the keyboard…this will be helpful!

After a hard day with the kids and nausea that is back with a vengeance, I am proud of this small accomplishment.  While it is not a background (here I am teeming with jealousy of you Blogspot girls) it is something cute and it makes me smile at midnight.  That is saying something.

Sleep tight and come on…don’t you want to subscribe with those CUTE buttons calling out to you?

In blogging, my novice blog design status is huge problem.  However, I was able to install the Thesis theme, which I think I will love.  I was also able to do the most basic stuff and hey – it is readable!  And my pictures are there.  I now will be able to move to the design…one piece at a time.  I may move this process to a new page so that if I actually succeed I will leave some sort of blueprint or how to for other total idiots like me.

For tomorrow – some color for the blog and of course - my first job – being a mom!