I must be old fashioned because seeing a Cosmo magazine makes me a little nauseous.  It is all sex all the time.  Is there even a relationship before the boom boom happens? I can’t imagine my babies doing it just to do it, and yet it seems that is where the world is going.  I must have something in me from my days of Sunday School that absolutely prevents me from seeing sex as just a physical act.  I see so much more and so much danger in treating something that is both physically and emotionally serious so casually.

I know I have a lot of time but I am already wondering how to prepare my kids for this world where everything is so out there and where they will know about things so very early and have to handle the challenges.  I know that I need to raise strong, confident kids who have the ability to be themselves even when the tide is moving away from them.  I am not sure I know how to teach them about sex and I know that the way I feel may be going out of style more and more each year.  Still, I think having sex comes with a lot of responsibility and a lot of potential consequences that I don’t ever want my kids to have to face.  An unwanted pregnancy, an STD or even  broken heart…I fear sex for these things and more.

I want to do more research and find some facts and figures and actually explore the concept of casual sex, but for now I am just pouring my thoughts out as they come to get the conversation started and get this off my chest.  So what if I am old fashioned?  I still think sex is a big thing.

What do you think about sex?

***

I wrote for 5 minutes straight for Fadra’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday.  No edits, no re-writes.  Forgive spelling and grammar please.  Just what’s on the heart and mind.  It’s a great way to get it out!

Sophia my love,

5 years ago you were swimming in my body, just 20 days from being in my arms.

4 years ago you clung to our necks as we swirled you around in the pool and splashed in the ocean.

3 years ago you leapt off the side of the pool, your laugh filling the air, as you flew into our arms.

2 years ago you held on tight to our necks as we pulled you through the water.  We held you as you learned to kick and stroke.  You wanted to swim.

1 year ago you were proud of your skill with a floatie.  Without one, you began to swim.  From a short distance, you would swim into our arms, into safety.

We told you we would never let anything happen to you.  We told you that you could swim.  We made sure you knew you were strong enough.  Still, you wanted to swim to us and always back to where we were.  That was okay by us.

This summer you learned to swim away.  You cautiously let go of our necks, let go of the concrete walls, and embraced your new ability.  You worked hard, you had a goal.  If you could learn to swim across the pool without any help from anyone, you would earn your yellow band from the YMCA.  With that yellow band, you could go down the water slides.  By yourself.  Into water deeper than you are tall.

It took all summer, but you earned that band.  We are so proud of you.  It took strength and bravery and a new independence to finish that test.  And you did it.  You are amazing.

We just want you to know, as you swim away from us more and more each day, that we are  here for you.  No matter what, please know that we miss holding you tight and you are always welcome in our arms.  Even if you are getting all grown up…

We love you baby.

Mom and Dad

* I am linking up to the awesome Liz and Kristin for iPhone Photo Phun.  The first pic was taken with my husband’s blackberry and the second with some awesome camera app for my iPhone where pictures look almost as good as with my big girl camera.

Now she wiggles away and I am left sucking in and standing up oh so straight. I’ve got no boobs left so that distraction is gone too.  Breastfeeding…yeah…it took my boobs.

So I need to try this whole thing again.  Yep, I noticed le belly a long time ago.  This week I am participating in a really cool meme at By Word of Mouth Musings called Time Travel Tuesdays.  You get to link up an old post and remember what you vowed to do or a great memory and you get to see what other bloggers would choose to show from their archives. Since it is new, I thought I would post and not just link up in case you want to jump in the time machine too!

I chose to out myself as the woman without enough self control to give up a piece of bread at breakfast.

When Violet was just 8 weeks old I wrote a little post called I am What I Ate.  You see, I figured out that my belly was beginning to resemble my favorite food, the mighty bagel. I meant to make this big change and be super svelte by now.  I mean it’s only like 16 months later.  But I maintain this uncanny resemblance to that round, delicious bread.

Now, it’s really time for a change.

Tell me, how are you doing with your post baby body goals?

This week we’re talking change.  We all know this word very well.  Please welcome Tracy from It Builds Character as she talks about how fast the changes come when we become parents. Tracy can be found on twitter as  @ChiMomWriter.  She is a former career gal trapped in a mom’s body. Hold the mom jeans. She’s a fundraiser, marathoner, wine drinker, and music lover. She has two kids, ages two and under.  She is heartfelt, funny, totally honest and I just love her to bits for being a big supporter of this What’s Your Word? series.  Basically, she is just awesome.

Change: In Tracy’s Words

Becoming a mother has been one of the loneliest experiences I’ve had.

Huh?

Let me insert all of the necessary caveats: I wouldn’t change it – I adore and love my kids. I enjoy being a parent. I love being at home with them, even though it doesn’t always seem like it.

I know this isn’t the experience that everyone has – And I also know I’m not the only one.

I love my kids.

But.

It’s one of the dirty little secrets that nobody wants to tell you about when you’re pregnant – I, like many, was thrilled to be “expecting” and spent 10 months rubbing my belly in anticipation. As I felt my baby grow, there was this feeling that I’d never be alone ever again. (If only that didn’t apply to the bathroom.)

In my previous life, I was a nonprofit fundraiser, and I loved what I did. My job was about people. Connecting. Helping.

I got pregnant. I made the city exodus. We bought a house. We painted the nursery. We learned about gutters and lawn mowers.

The plan was to go back to work. As it turned out, that wasn’t particularly practical. Between my husband’s and my schedules, commute times, and costs… Here I am.

Yep, there I was, and suddenly, I had a little human being in my arms (what felt like) every moment of the day… and there was no one around.

That’s a lot of change all in a span of months. I missed my job. No – correction: I miss my job. I miss being coherent and big-girl words. I miss feeling like I was making a difference.

You can’t say that to people. I realize that I’m shaping the lives of the two people most important in the world to me. But anyone who has been knee deep in diapers and baby vomit knows those feelings of being trapped in the movie Groundhog Day. You’re just not allowed to say it.

Being a parent tests your friendships. Most single friends didn’t know what to do with me, and even moms with school-age kids had the glorious amnesia to many of the details of these early times. I had to cancel plans, a lot. I couldn’t make it to outings last-minute. I was chronically low on sitters.

When I did get out to see friends, I swore I wouldn’t be the mom who only talked about my kids. But that’s 99% of my day, every day.

The phone stopped ringing, not that I’d generally find time to answer it anyway. I felt lonely and isolated, and more than that, irrelevant.

Like every chapter in our lives, though, there is an evolution to these changes. Now 2 1/2 years and two kids into this journey, I can see the bigger picture at work.

My circle of friends became smaller – That’s natural. But the friendships I’ve developed are closer and stronger. My “outer world” friends are gloriously patient with my cancellations and period of MIA-ness. My day-to-day parent-friends are incredibly broad in their parenting views, they’re helpful, supportive, fun, and we’re all allowed to show up and cry when warranted. More often than not, we’re laughing. Or at least rolling our eyes.

Becoming a parent, although an ongoing process, has allowed me to drop a lot of the dead weight in my life. I have to be focused and efficient. I have to pick and choose. If I decide to do something, it’s because I really want it.

I parent. I run. I fund raise. I write.

And I do connect. It’s taken time and it looks different than it used to. But it’s a skin that is becoming more comfortable over time.

What surprised you about becoming a parent?

***

Now it’s your turn! Link up your post on the word CHANGE anytime this week and include the badge above linked back to this site. The code is available on the sidebar. Please visit a few other posts and show some love. If you are tweeting about your own post or a post you found and love, please use the #whatsyourword hashtag so we can all follow along. If you are seeing the series for the first time, check out the What’s Your Word page for a little more information. If you have a word you know you want to be all yours, just shoot me an email to be the featured post for the week.

Next Week’s Word is Confidence!

It’s bathing suit time again, and this word stands out as something I need more of.  It is also something I want to show my kids.  While my thighs may be weighing on me lately, confidence is about more than how we look.  We need to be confident in ourselves and in our decisions.  We need to own who we are and love ourselves.  So whether you choose to be cheeky and talk about swimsuits or really dive in and attack this word, please tell me what this means to you!

Now link up for What’s Your Word? The Change Edition!

Now it’s your turn! Link up your post on the word Complicated anytime this week and include the badge above linked back to this site. The code is available on the sidebar. Please visit a few other posts and show some love. If you are tweeting about your own post or a post you found and love, please use the #whatsyourword hashtag so we can all follow along. If you are seeing the series for the first time, check out the What’s Your Word page for a little more information. If you have a word you know you want to be all yours, just shoot me an email to be the featured post for the week.

Show me your Complicated and get ready for another round.

Next week’s word is Envy.

I know I am not perfect.  I try to be totally content but envy is a part of my life.  Maybe it is a part of yours too.  If you want to be the featured post – just let me know!  I would love to have you!

Now linkup for What’s Your Word?  The Complicated Edition!

Now that I am grown up, it is not so easy.  While my life is full of blessings and joy, glee is made up jubilation and triumph and, in my opinion, sparkles of the spirit.  It is something that is difficult if not impossible to work for.  You have to be open to it.  You have to be able to let go and enjoy a moment fully.  This is an ability I lack these days.  Most grown-ups do.  I am so concerned with safety and sunscreen and being sensible that I end up watching life instead of living it.  Instead of relishing it.

I am letting go a little.  Or a lot.  I am embracing the silly and wonderful child that is in me.

Now, I feel real joy.  I feel pride.  I smile a lot.  I laugh.  I am happy.

But I want that crazy sparkly glee back.  A little glorious…a little mischievous…a lot of awesome.

I am going to stick my head up in the clouds and let some light in.

I will show my kids my glee…all grown up but just as sparkly.

Do you have glee?  Do you feel it?  Or might you need to join me in the clouds for a spell?

Now it’s your turn!  Link up your post on Glee anytime this week and include the badge above linked back to this site.  The code is available on the sidebar.   Please visit a few other posts and show some love.  If you are tweeting about your own post or a post you found and love, please use the #whatsyourword hashtag so we can all follow along.  If you are seeing the series for the first time, check out the What’s Your Word page for a little more information.  If you have a word you know you want to be all yours, just shoot me an email to be the featured post for the week.

Show me your Glee and get ready for another round.

Next week’s word is Complicated.

I know we all have something to say about that.  Life just ain’t simple.   If you feel as close to this word as I do and want to be the featured post – just let me know!

I am so excited to start the What’s Your Word? series off with one of my favorite bloggers and a super swell friend, Melissa from Adventuroo!  There could not be a better lady to feature for the the word Adventure.  Melissa is the mom of two budding adventurers under five. When she’s not cleaning dirt out from under little fingernails, she blogs at Adventuroo and Momcomm, a new blog devoted to can-do blogging tips.  She is also super fun to tweet with and can be found @adventuroo.

Please welcome Melissa and don’t forget to link up your own posts! 

Adventure.

It’s meaning morphs and twists as we make our way through life.

When I was a kid, adventure meant making forts out of tattered blankets, jumping in puddles in the backyard and the occasional trip to an amusement park. We didn’t do many outdoorsy things when I was younger but that didn’t matter. When you’re a kid, adventure is sprinkled with imagination. Grab a large cardboard box and you’ve got anything from a castle to a race car.

When I was a teenager, adventure meant sneaking out an open window with my cousin to go toilet paper someone’s house with our friends. Or jumping off a highway bridge into a lake forty feet below. Um, let me just block this portion of my life out or I’ll sear my mind with futuristic images of my little boys as grown teenagers, doing dumb, dangerous things like that. Moving on…

When I was in college, adventure took many forms. One weekend it consisted of red Solo cups and free-flowing beer. The next weekend? Inhaling the summer air at the nearby lake.

What about those married years before children were even twinkles in our eyes? We climbed rocks, hiked canyons, traveled to new places and even hit Vegas a few times (if you’ve been there, you can’t argue- it’s an adventure).

I also had a huge bucket list tinged with danger: bungee jumping, skydiving, hiking the Grand Canyon from Rim to Rim. The only one of those I crossed off was the last one (and many, many other hiking trips). Nevertheless, I wanted all the thrilling stuff. The things that would give me an adrenaline rush.

And now? We have two young boys. The thought of bungee jumping scares the bejeezus out of me.

Instead, we’ve circled back to the things we enjoyed as kids. The things that fuse adventure and imagination together. Big Roo makes a mean “yucky soup” and Little Roo loves letting different-textured plants slip through his fingers as his stroller whizzes past them on our afternoon walks.

I’d argue that even taking the kids out to eat is an adventure. Although it isn’t necessarily always a positive one (squealing baby, anyone?).

We go on hikes but they don’t require navigating over boulders or camping ten miles away from any road.

Adventure these days? It’s smaller in many ways. It’s definitely less dangerous (and less dumb – oh those teen years). But it’s meaning is oh-so-much bigger.

Technology may change (my son’s never seen a VCR), music may evolve, but adventure comes full circle. I tuck my adventurous memories in the back of my brain and watch my kids experience it all for the first time.

I shape the way our children enjoy the world. I watch their curiosity bud.

Who knew so much was packed into one nine-letter word?

Now it’s your turn!  Link up your post on adventure and include the badge above linked back to this site.  The code is available on the sidebar.   Please visit a few other posts and show some love.  If you are tweeting about your own post or a post you found and love, please use the #whatsyourword hashtag so we can all follow along.  If you are seeing the series for the first time, check out the What’s Your Word page for a little more information.  If you have a word you know you want to be all yours, just shoot me an email to be the featured post for the week.

Show me your adventure and get ready for another round.

Next week’s word is Glee!  And don’t just think it’s a word full of honey.  Glee is defined both as great merriment and malicious satisfaction.  Take the word any which way!

If the video is playing slowly, please click on the YouTube link in the corner to watch it on YouTube.

If you would like to have your post featured, simply send me an email (mommywords at gmail.com) with what word you would like to claim and we will pick a date! You can check out some possible words on the official What’s Your Word? page or choose your own.  You can also see my introduction post here.

If you cannot watch the video…the word is…

Adventure!

What does that word mean to you?  Make us laugh, make us cry, inspire us, challenge us.  It’s up to you!  Just come on back next week to link up!

This is a brand new series, so any support you could give through sharing on facebook or twitter would be SO appreciated.

I am also looking for weekly sponsors, so if you are a company who is interested in sponsoring a word, just let me know!   I would love to award a weekly prize and / or feature your brand in this What’s Your Word? series.

Now…let’s get this party started!  Here’s the badge.  Simply insert it in your post and link up! The code will be on my sidebar soon or you can simply copy the image. Please link it back to www.mommywords.com

Only one popped.  The other one squealed like a baby pig.  I was annoyed and all of a sudden felt nauseous.  I tried everything but could not get it to pop.  Of course I tweeted it and Dr. Twitter was no help.  I know, shocking right?

I decided to get the kids in bed as soon as possible and have a snack and a glass of wine.

I poured myself a bowl of goldfish and a glass of wine and sat down to bemoan my miserable ears.  But I could not taste the goldfish.  I tried other things but I could not taste anything.  Except my wine.  Thank God I can still taste the sweet wine.

Then it hit me.  My mom had a friend with brain cancer who could not taste or smell anything but she could taste wine.  In my fragile state I sort of panicked.

I waited a couple days and took some allergy medication but nothing helped.  My ear popped and then clogged up again.  That squealing noise continued.

I finally took my tush to the doctor fearing the worst but starting to feel very much like spring was upon me.

I was right.  He doubts I have brain cancer but is pretty sure my allergies are kicking my ass early and…get this…I am a grownup with an ear infection.

A flipping ear infection.

So my ears hurt like hell and I now feel for babies and toddlers around the world.  I am sad for their ears and happy that at least I can have a glass of wine.  Poor babies, they can’t.

I am hopeful that I will taste, smell and hear well again soon but until then I will eat very sour candy and have my wine at night.

I will have my wine instead of the Sudafed recommended by the doctor because I now believe that Sudafed is of the devil.  It makes me feel like crap and did not restore any of my valuable senses.

It’s okay to feel bad for me.  The only positive other than the wine is that I can’t smell poopy diapers.

This post is part of Fadra’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday.  It’s a really fun way to let off steam or pour your heart out or just babble for 5 minutes.  No editing, no proofreading…you just hit publish.  Try it out and check out all the other fun posts!

So here it is!  Looks organized, right?  That’s because the top drawer of this little dresser gets opened every day and I push all the junk off the top and into the drawer.  This is the one place where I use my husband’s cleaning philosophy.  I do clean out the drawer pretty regularly, but it seems to always remain full of stuff.

My favorite thing about my nightstand is actually the tiny sparkly chandelier that hangs above it.  I need just a little bit of glamour to be happy and as my day to day life is anything but glamorous, I try to out little pieces of wow around my house.  This is high enough up that the kids don’t touch it and can’t break it.  It also prevents the need for a lamp here and is on a dimmer so I can read all through the night without bothering hubs too much.

I keep my burlwood jewelry box from my husband on my nightstand because I love it.  I know it doesn’t really match but it’s just so pretty.

I always have a pile of house magazines near my bed.  One of my favorite things to do is flip through This Old House and Elle Decor in my bed. 

On top of my magazines is my idea book.  The goal is to jot down blog ideas as they come to me.  For some reason when my head hits the pillow a get a million ideas for the blog.  I write them down or lose them.

That sassy pink case holds my Nook.  Prior to having the Nook you would have seen a giant pile of books.  I am a bibliophile.

On top of the Nook is the best little diary ever.  It is called the Keel’s Simple Diary.  I would love to work with this little company and meet the man behind the book, Phillip Keel. All of the pages have little sayings and multiple choice questions with answers that are both ordinary and profoundly important.  Then there are 1 or 2 open questions you answer or a fill in the blank and you are done.  Little pieces of me are now recorded in this book.  I love it.  I chose Orange, one of my favorite colors.  Check out what the book says this says about me.  I keep this little page in the front cover of the book.  Fabulous, right…I mean I always need The Sound of Music.

I also keep a photo of my first trip to Paris with Ross.  It was my first trip to Paris ever.  I want to go back each and every day.  I want to live there.  I just like to look at it, remember, and dream.  The frame flips around to show a picture of us quite sloshed in Brussels.  We hopped on an e-saver pre-procreation for an unplanned weekend in Europe.  That will not happen again for a very long time.  It makes me smile and reminds me that I am fun.

Hidden behind the photo is my body butter and my lube.  Don’t laugh or judge.  I have been pregnant or breastfeeding for 5 years.  My hormones are all kinds of wacky.  Lube is good.

Sophia’s wand is there and always ends up there.  She likes to sit on my side of the bed to “relax” and I suppose one puts down their wand to do so.

The necklace is a gorgeous crystal that I wear almost every day.  I do not wear a lot of jewelry, but Ross gave me this Baccarat Eclipse pendant when I met him in London and was pregnant with Sophia.  He was working there for a couple of months and my job let me go and join him in the London office.  No one knew I was pregnant, even in our families.  This necklace reminds me of that time and of our special secret and always makes me smile as I think of the wonderful little family we have built.  If you have seen me, you have seen this necklace.  I adore it.

Finally you see the alarm clock that never gets used.  I have 3 kids who wake up at all hours of the night and are up for good at the crack of dawn.  Unless we are waking up for the Disney drive at 4 a.m. this baby is pointless.

Now wasn’t that fun?  Each week there is a new challenge at Adventuroo so check it out and please tell me…what’s on your nightstand?