I would never let my husband do this in a million years.  I mean absolutely never.   I never thought I would let anyone do it, but this morning that all changed.  I let my kids milk me. 

I was using a hand pump to get a little milk for baby Violet for her morning nursery time and Sophia asked if she could help.  I said no and she said I told her she could help to give Violet milk when she started using a bottle.  I said you can help with the bottle, not the milking. 

Then she asked me if it was gross?  Well, I do not want my kids to ever think that anything about breastfeeding is gross.  I want them to understand that I make milk for my babies and that I am proud of my commitment to breastfeeding through all of the struggles I have had.  I want them to think that it is totally normal for a mommy to milk herself like a cow.  And so I let her try.   I was muttering inappropriate words in my head.  I mean what the hell was I doing?  Then Miles cried, saying it was his turn.  What the heck…the more the merrier right?   

Both Sophia and Miles successfully milked me.  They were so proud that they made Violet’s milk.  I don’t know if I was proud at the moment as much as relieved it was over.  From now on I will pump a little more privately than in the playroom.

Since it was definitely a first (and hopefully a last) we took pictures! 

Sophia is Pumped!

Proud Pumper

I truly hope you are laughing and not gagging.

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As promised, dear readers, I rode the bull at the Hebrew National Better-Than-A-Picnic yesterday.  I was one of only a handful of adults that braved this stunt in broad daylight without the help of a couple drinks in some bar.  Totally sober – I did this for you – and I actually loved it!  And now, for your enjoyment, the video.

Yes, I had to fall off because the F word was about to come flying out. I had already yelled “CRAP”, a word we do not use in front of the kids if possible (sometimes it is not possible) and the only word I could think of as the bull sped up was the F word.  So I fell off and forgot that the kids were watching and thought I was hurt.  Needless to say they did not let me ride the bull again and I scared them too.  I totally missed the fact that a 2 and 3 year old might not get that falling off was funny.  You get it though.  You are allowed to laugh…I look ridiculous!  And it feels faster than it looks.  Just sayin’…

Other than the 97 degree day the picnic was wonderful.  The kids all had a fabulous time making birthday cards for homeless children, riding the bull, and eating wonderful Hebrew National hot dogs.  They really were awesome, by the way.

The Airbus Before the Picnic...Mmmm...Hot Dogs!

While I loved the bull,

One Handed - Oh Yeah!

Miles loved him more.  He rode three times!  For a 2 year old I thought he really rocked it out!

Ride 'Em Cowboy!

While the mechanical bull was the most fun we have had in awhile, the best part of the day was meeting fellow bloggers and getting gift donations for Birthday Blessings.  I want to thank The Motherhood and Hebrew National for putting together picnics that give back to our community.

It was certainly Better-Than-A-Picnic!

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Miles clearly wants to be that bad ass boy no girls are supposed to date.  It seems he is always trying to steal sips of beer when anyone leaves a can or bottle on a table and God help me he has tasted beer.  Some people did not believe me when I told them my toddler would take their bottle if they left it lying around.  Well, he took a big swig before they could get to him.  And he liked it.  He is like a little Homer Simpson now and actually says “mmm…beer”.  I kid you not.  He doesn’t have a million words or anything and that is in his small vocabulary.

We saw it coming though – I posted about it last summer…

Miles Wants Beer 2009

Lately he also looks like he is getting a little high in pictures and I can’t help but laugh.  He just thinks it is funny to put sticks and crayons and pens and anything like that in his mouth.  We grownups are the sickos that laugh because the way he holds these items reminds us of some things I am so not yet prepared to really talk to my kids about.  (If you don’t know my oldest is only 3 so no, we haven’t brought up the subject of marijuana or ciggies yet).   Yes, I am one of the sickos.  I think this is hilarious.

Reason to Worry?

Moms, guard your daughters.  It seems I am raising a very good looking bad influence.  Could it be he already suffers from the middle child syndrome and is rebelling ?

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Miles Lost His Naptime Battle

Without a normal bedtime, a meltdown will follow.  The parent who is with the children in the days following a bedtime fall out know what I am talking about.  Your kids might be cute at night telling you that they are not tired, but it will not be cute when they are actually full out exhausted in the days that follow.  Last week Miles decided he was not tired.  He figured out that Mommy and Daddy were still awake long after his 8 p.m. bedtime.  He, unlike Sophia, had the nerve to come downstairs. 

I know – totally uncool dude – this is the time I pretend I am childless and free.  You just totally killed my vibe.

So my thoughts:  Um…hello…toddler boy…mommy just spent the whole day entertaining you now it is my turn to relax so get your tush in bed.  I asked my husband to deal with Miles and get him back to bed.   Well excuse me – turns out it is March Madness and there is some daddy toddler bonding to be had a 9 pm on the couch watching basketball.  I tweeted my frustration.

I warned him this would cause problems.  I told him 23 month olds could not be expected to chill out on the couch until 10 o’clock and function the next day.  I knew this spelled trouble.  but I did peek in and Miles looked ecstatic.  My heart melted listening to him jabber on in unintelligible words about basketball.  Finally he fell asleep and Ross took him to bed.

The next few days Miles thought he never had to go to bed.  He even refused naps.  He just kept saying he was not tired.  He walked the hallways at night.  He thought he was all that.  But he became VERY crabby and mean.  And I was quickly becoming a very crabby and mean mommy as he became unable to handle his exhaustion.

Finally, on Saturday, Miles fell asleep.  On the kitchen table.  After screaming for apples. 

Toddlers Can Sleep Anywhere. I mean look at his ear!

I took a picture and glared at my husband for allowing this insanity.

He took a 3 hour nap in his bed and then went to bed at his normal bedtime.

When he came into our room Sunday morning he was all smiles.  Sunday afternoon he took a nap.  And went to bed with no fuss.

Thank God – Mommy needs Miles to nap as much as he does.  I need my little man to stay my little man as long as possible. 

Because you know – I already have a big man.  He’s called a husband and he watches March Madness – so named because it drives me totally flippin’ mad.  This same man thought a 2 year old could handle the madness.  I’m back to being the boss of bedtime.

*Sigh*  It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it!

I was just lucky to get them all in green and sort of cute looking. Getting them all to smile? Impossible. But hey – we are not Irish – so I am pretty impressed that they are even in green.

My Non-Irish Hooligans

They even made a video for you. And Miles talks! Not well but I am so proud that he really tries now. I try too – not to giggle. He is so flippin’ cute!

I can’t help it. Here is my littlest leprechaun. In her very first dress. *Sigh*

Violet in her First Dress

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My Little Man in his Big Bed

I finished building Miles his big boy bed the night before Violet was born, 8 weeks ago tonight.  He did not sleep in it right away.  We sang songs  in his bed.  We told stories.  We read books.  Sophia and Miles laid on the bed and talked.  They had picnics.  It was more like a fort than a bed.  Miles tried sleeping in his bed once after we came home from the hospital.  That night, he came into our room at 3 a.m. and asked for his crib.  With a days old Violet in my arms, we decided he could sleep in his pack ‘n’ play for awhile – just until he was ready – and we had a little more sleep!

Every day, we would talk about his bed and he would say he loved it.  Then he would put his puppy or his Dora in it to sleep and ask for his crib.  We spent more and more time playing in his bed and Sophia must have spent hours telling him cool big boy beds were.  I told him that I built the bed just for him.  He gave me a hug and said thank you, but he never slept in it.

Then, over the weekend, he laid down on his bed after reading books with his lovey and said goodnight.  I asked him if he wanted to sleep in his bed and he said yes.  And he meant it. 

Violet woke up 3 times that night.  Sophia woke up 2 times and ended up in my bed.  Miles did not wake up until breakfast.  He slept like a baby, my big boy, for the whole night.  I was so proud.  So was he.  He ran into our room in morning to tell us and we could see how happy he was.  It was a prefect family moment.  Sophia told him he was almost a man.  Ha!  Another milestone!

And now we return to our previously scheduled program – POTTY TRAINING!

If you are interested, here is a picture of  the very safe and easy to get into bed I built for Miles and here is the post on how you can build one too!  It’s cheap and easy and so chic!  And you can build it in any size!

Miles' Big Boy Bed

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For Miles, it is his old bouncy chair.

It's Not Quite as Bouncy Now

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Call me Miss Flibbertyjibbit but I am too pregnant to write anything really coherent despite the fact that I am completing another fabulous DIY Project.  Well, at least I think it is fabulous.  It will just be a couple of days late.  Who wants to bet I will have to re-post the tutorial after the baby?  Now to my point – see – I have lost it….

Ghost Bunny

The good news is that the new game Sophia and Miles play does not involve me at all so I am free to do whatever the hell I do not remember doing in the first place.  This game is called Ghost Bunny and I tried googling it but I have no idea where the rules came from.  I know it is some combination of a Max & Ruby episode entitled “Ghost Bunny”  dealing with camping out and flashlights and both of my kids’ obsession with jumping out of things.

In this game Sophia and Miles shut themselves in her closet with just a tiny flashlight that has barely any light and then they tell secrets or something – I can only hear whispers – until at some point Sophia gives a signal and they open the door and jump out running in circles and yelling “Boo!”  Then they both dissolve into hysterical laughter, immediately talk about how great the game is and go back into the closet.  They will stay in that closet for 5 minutes or more and they will play this game FOR AN HOUR.  I am not allowed to play.  Usually I am forced to play games but I am left miraculously on my own for Ghost Bunny Time.  All I have to do is look scared when they decide to “scare” me.  Usually they do this to me when I am in the shower in the morning.  All I have to say is that they are CRAZY – at 38 weeks pregnant and naked trying to wield a razor I am the really scary one. 

Note: Please – do not call social services – Sophia and Miles can both open the closet door by themselves and when I am in the shower I do put a little thing on the top so it will not close all the way and chop off their little bunny fingers.  They are relatively safe during Ghost Bunny compared to some of the gymnastics games they play.

I do not have any idea what they do in there but here is a quote from the Max & Ruby episode.  Valerie is telling a story and says

There’s no escaping Ghost Bunny. His ears are so big he can hear the tiniest sound across town.

Sophia always says no one will get away and she asks me if I can hear them because she says I am not supposed to.  And I have big ears.  I am VERY self conscious about them.  But I cannot hear them.  Usually they are screaming.  In this they whisper.

Is this not the best game ever?  I don’t have to play and they are basically silent.  If I knew the actual rules to Ghost Bunny I would totally share them with you.  This game is second only to the Quiet Game, which Sophia says “totally stinks”.  If I figure out how to get them to play that – you can give some giant mommy prize.

The Missing Brain

If you see my brain, let me know.  I think it might have fallen out of my huge ears.  I can’t remember anything.  I am saying words that do not exist.  I am responding to people who have not said anything.  I am lost all the time.  I do not ever know what time it is.  I feel like a raving lunatic.  Even Sophia asked “Mommy are you being crazy or just silly or are you saying a joke?”  Of course I lied and said I was joking.  I do not want my 3 year old thinking that I have lost my mind and with it every ounce of authority.  So if you have any advice – I’d love to hear it – but I expect this is just what is known as Baby Crazy.   I should just use it as an excuse to act like a fool and bear absoltely no shame or blame.

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We had 2 firsts today!  I absolutely love having little kids because there is so much that is absolutely new for them and as a grown-up I get to see the excitement and joy in the simplest of things.

Sophia’s First Movie

Sophia saw her first movie today, The Princess and the Frog.  She absolutely loved the movie theater, the seats, the popcorn, the soda and the parts of the movie where there was a princess.  She also loved that the movie was in New Orleans, where she has been and absolutely LOVES.  She loved the princess Tiana and her “kind of mean” friend Charlotte.  She thought they were beautiful. 

That goes a LONG way with a 3 year old – sadly – it goes  long way with people of most ages.  But I digress.

She was not as keen on the frogs and thought that “there should be more girls and more princesses”.  Other than Tiana, her adventuring friends in this movie were all male.  She did think that said males (a frog, a firefly and a crocodile) were “really pretty funny a little” but she kept saying that they “were taking too long without a princess”.  She absolutely thought hat the voodoo man and the voodoo spirits were “just a little too scary since I’m only 3″.   That is a true review from the mind of a 3 year old.

Overall I think she had a great time and said she would love to see another movie, but I think I might wait a while considering she did not exactly give this flick 2 thumbs up.  Actually, neither did I.  It is not my favorite Disney movie by a long shot, although it was cute.  It just did not really keep my attention.

Miles’ First Day and Night in a Big Boy Bed

I spent the morning taking apart the crib in Miles’ room and moving furniture around to get a twin mattress in there.  We wanted to give him a little time before I am in the hospital to get used to not being confined in a crib.  After moving furniture all morning, I did not have the energy to finish his actual bed so he is on just a mattress until I build it.  While my darling boy took no nap with the excitement of a big boy “bed” he was totally tuckered out at 7:30 and crashed without any problems.  4 hours later and I have not heard a peep!   I am wondering how nap times will go from now on as he already does not nap until almost 3 and is starting to get WAY too close to dinner time.  This is what happened right before Sophia totally gave up her nap.   I am hoping and praying and wishing and well, I might just turn to some voodoo myself to make sure he naps a little while longer.  I NEED it! 

I am still so proud of him.  He was not scared.  He was happy and excited and Sophia was such a great big sister.  She was “teaching” him how to sleep in a big boy bed.  They are just adorable together when they are not fighting!

First Time I Have Sat Down Today

Ha ha.  I am beat!  It has been a long day with everything we are trying to accomplish in the  next week or so but I am really feeling like we are getting somewhere.   We accomplished a LOT this weekend!

• Crib is down.  Hallelujah I hate cribs so much!
• Bed is in and usable and I do not have to pick up Miles to get into it. 
• Stairs are now carpeted so there is less chance Miles will die or permanently injure himself when he falls or jumps down them.
• Infant carseat cover is washed and put back on seat
• Co-Sleeper is up and in our room waiting for baby
• Swing is assembled
• Baby clothes are out of the attic and in drawers and closet
• Other baby stuff (sling, nursing cover, toys, blankies etc.) is all out of the attic and in a basket waiting for a home
• Nursing and Pumping stuff is out and organized.  I am ready to be a cow.
• We continued purging and I have ANOTHER backseat full of donations.  This feels SO good.
• Meal plan for kids while I am in hospital is complete.

So it seems like most of the baby stuff is done.  Now I just need to finish the to do list for me and hubby and the kids I already have! 

Now I think I deserve a bath and a book so I can try to settle down.  It’s 11:48 – the day is almost gone!

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I Wanna Eat Like You, Curious George

Miles’ new habit is trying to do things with all four of his his “feet”, like Curious George.  He tries to pick things up with his feet.  He tries to walk like a monkey on all fours.  He says “Ooo Ooo Ooo Ah Ah” while waving his arms.   The kicker – he tries to eat with his feet.  The messiest monkey business yet?  He literally puts his feet into his yogurt and licks his toes.   He thinks he makes a very good little monkey.  I think he makes a very big mess.

I'm a Good Little Monkey

If you are wondering – having a little monkey at home makes for at least an entire extra load of laundry every week, a lot of bumps and bruises and a very tired momma.  It’s all worth it though because my little monkey gives me a million laughs, picture perfect moments and priceless memories.

Mommy loves you, Miles.

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