Ross

Keen on Pairs

Violet has a way of tearing off her left shoe and tossing it overboard. Over the edge of the wagon, over the side of the stroller, and out the car door as I buckle her siblings. I thought I would not have to buy any shoes for Violet with all the shoes Sophia had to pass [...]

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A Love Affair with Chauffeurs and Toilet Paper

I went on a date with my husband. An ultra date. This one was special. We had a chauffeur. It was a wine lover’s dream. No kids. No cabs. No driving. Heck, this is everyone’s dream, right? This date was the bomb. We switched it up in so many ways. We left at 4 p.m. [...]

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The Knight Bangs the Princess

Oh yes. Did you not know? Come on, we all knew that during the pillaging of villages the knights sometimes had their way with the peasants but I know from a very trustworthy 2 and 4 year old that those knights…well they banged Belle too. I know…it’s like a fabulous romance novel…not the pillaging of [...]

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The Case of the Missing Condom

Last night in our hotel room I put my hand in a grocery bag for a snack and pulled out a pack of condoms with one missing. We do not use condoms. My husband had left minutes earlier for a work meeting. I trust Ross completely but standing by the door with an open pack of [...]

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There is Sunshine in Hell

Let me begin by describing one version of hell for a mom. That mom is me. 7:30 p.m. Nurse Violet and put the kids to bed. 8:30 p.m. Miles begins screaming and has gotten his arm stuck in his Batman house when he should have been sleeping. 9:00 p.m. Sophia wakes up saying her hoo [...]

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